hidden words unfold

memories

2012-02-06T21:13:00.002+08:00

after watching the show "you are an apple in my eyes"
brings back memories.

i thought of Wenqin, thats my first flash. then after i thought of my sec sch crush ziping.

but if say everyone aside and there is a chance to really understand each other, one to one, will it be any better?

well sometimes not knowing the answer may be good, yet it may be bad too. anyway, what past is past. god knows what the future brings, fate will then decide.

somehow, i do not know why, i really like those people yet the more i like, the tendency i do opposite like instead of getting close, i will avoid. instead of being good, i behave badly lost control. least i understand myself more now.

not that i like to be single, i just couldn't find the one i really like yet. i am awaiting, not going to take anyone easily, and remain single till i found the one.

i have a feeling

2010-05-24T21:06:00.004+08:00

i will never get attached and be in a relationship..

each time i think of it, there got to be a thing to stop me from thinking..

and i am afraid for unless the person i like and is also willing to hold me hard enough and understands me enough, there will got to be more trouble and unhappiness and simple little happiness and understanding is all i need...

but i have yet found the one....

and its really hard... the one you like, never like you..

the one you find suitable, willl always end up as others gf

or the one who likes you, is totally not suitable...

and worst of all, if i am uncertain about a thing and that person waits, we will never have any good happy ending..

after i realised it, i lost her..

and i have no slightest idea how i can do to make someone mine..

and i hate it.. why are things so difficult.. and my family complicated environment makes me even harder to do one thing..

closing

2009-09-11T22:00:00.003+08:00

good bye...
alll the best...
not going to touch it anymore..
lost the reason that i used to blog for ..

no longer feel like updating things i do
no longer hope for anything ..
let it just die.. keeping the little nice feeling just a lil

and just a lil thing to clarify others..

yes i'm afraid of many things
yes i'm hesitating
yes i'm holding on
yes i'm undecisive of many things

yes i am way lousier than other guys out there..

i have no confidence in myself
i have problem finding topic not to even say funny jokes
i have greater problem opening my mouth to talk without people being friendly to me by throwing a friendly smile..

for now... i close this blog.. till i found the reason or motivation to blog again..

CLOSED!!!

wish

2009-09-08T00:08:00.001+08:00

if there is a wish to be made, i wish to be with her... every moment every day..
but it is not possible..

looks like i could only just cross her life..

habit

2009-08-19T12:25:00.003+08:00

lead me and allow me to get use to it and make it a routine.. or i never do it..

a routine that is unlike any other..

action?

2009-08-17T22:02:00.002+08:00

i gave a thought about it..

i guess i nv put my words to action by self initiative.. for that.. nv will..

bless me... may i lose my cool and act rashly in the right timing one more time to get that thing settled.

dream

2009-08-05T10:49:00.002+08:00

i dreamnt... of a long existing problem i had...
cat chong appeared again in my dream.. funny..

it was meant to see her playing and video down in the roller coaster and while it ended,.. i appeared and then i said wrong thing<---stupid problem i had always

got scolded by her frd though she dun mind..

and it ended like "i have so much to tell you but you got no time"

i blog the moment i woke up..

this is the second time i dream of her so unconsciously.. seriously whats up man.. mr brain ..

so weird

amazing

2009-08-03T13:33:00.002+08:00

i happen to read a frd's blog, the person happen to find this and think its quite true , which i read now i think its pretty amazing so i posted...

below are part of the person blog ..

And according to The Whisper Cycle Guide: Learning To Talk Your Body’s Language, here are some things that happen to you during the 28-day menstrual cycle:

MENSTRUATION, DAYS 1-7 OF THE CYCLE

What happens?
During their period, women may experience chocolate cravings, can feel low in energy and experience higher levels of stress than normal and can have more sensitive skin. You may also be less prone to jealousy than usual and experience better spatial orientation skills.

Why does this happen?
Low levels of both oestrogen and progesterone.

What can I do?

• Don’t deny yourself a chocolate treat – when your body metabolises this choccy it can help increase levels of serotonin, the ‘happy hormone’
• Go to the gym – a good work-out can help combat tiresome stomach cramps and there’s nothing better than a bit of healthy exercise to boost low energy levels and reduce stress
• Impress him – while your jealousy levels are low encourage your man to go out on the town with his mates and…
• …get him to treat you to a soothing body massage in return, while your skin is extrasensitive!
• Don’t wax, as this could be even more painful than usual!
• Don’t forget to show off your enhanced parking skills with your heightened spatial awareness!

PRE-OVULATION, DAYS 8-14 OF THE CYCLE

What happens?

Where do we start? You’ll probably feel flirtier, better hair days, heightened verbal fluency skills, increased memory, improved mood levels and generally be less aggressive, more creative and have a better sense of smell. The only down-side is that you can be more subject to jealousy than usual.

Why does this happen?

Oestrogen levels increase.

What can I do?

• Impress at important presentations and interviews with your enhance verbal fluency skills
• If you’re single and searching it’s a good time to go on the pull as you’re raring for some action and can seductively flick that great-looking hair
• Beware of the green-eyed monster – instead of scowling at women checking out your man, smile and rejoice in your good taste!

POST-OVULATION, DAYS 15-21 OF THE CYCLE

What happens?

Sensitivity to pain reduces at this stage but unfortunately this comes with the first signs of PMS, classic symptoms being mood swings, irritability and fluid retention.

Why does this happen?

Oestrogen levels decrease as progesterone levels increase.

What can I do?

It’s not all doom and gloom because there are TONS of things you can do to help you feel good!

• Cut down on salty foods and coffee to help combat fluid retention
• In fact, drinking water is great for your well-being in general, so you should try drinking 2 litres a day
• Combat mood swings and irritability by pampering yourself with bubble baths and burn some relaxing aromatherapy oils for total relaxation
• Or call a friend who always makes you giggle!

PRE-MENSTRUAL, DAYS 22-28 OF THE CYCLE

What happens?

In addition to the previous PMS symptoms, you may also experience chocolate cravings, disturbed sleep, increased daytime sleepiness, greasier hair than usual, bad hair days and more spots!

Yikes. On the plus side (there is one!) you may experience a lower sensitivity to pain during this time too.

Why does this happen?

Progesterone continues to dominate on the hormone level as PMS kicks in.

What can I do?

• The buzzword here is water: drink lots of water as it is good for you!
• Continue to cut down on salt and coffee to help combat the effects of fluid retention
• Try washing greasy hair more often than usual
• Avoid bad hair days with some clever styling tricks: cool hats, hair scraped back into the ever trendy pony-tail, hair serum or cute Pippi Longstocking plaits – the choice is yours
• For a better night’s sleep, have a long hot bath just before bed-time to help you relax and reduce stress
• Make sure you snuggle in a sleep-inducing environment – your bedroom should be cool, dark and quiet and your bed should be spacious and comfortable. A good night’s sleep should help combat daytime sleepiness too
• This is the best time to wax your legs because of the lower pain sensitivity!

r/s??

2009-07-27T21:49:00.002+08:00

nah just have one random thought.. dunno how long i am going to stay single with the uncertainty i am facing..

maybe at least 4 years more? why? cos it will then be near marriage age then i am force to panic and get one hahaa..

well just let it off once again and drag till time force me to make decision.. too use to it being alone.... more carefree, no unneccessary pain and trouble i need to go through.. but just i willl not get the one very precious and wholesome thing...

ok thats it.. too many love song and some chat making me think of it.. study and be a nerd bah...

locked up zone once again..closed once again..

lol

2009-07-23T14:37:00.001+08:00

ha ha .. enough of the silly blog for last entry..

now for real... this week no sch week is helll of a ........

but then towards the weekend, it is hell of a .......

well well well.......... hell man...

lol

studying soon.... study... if only i a could make myself touch my book more... my curiousity will bring me far... being a graduate and not degree holder

ok enough.. why write so much when all is said and done and close friend will not need to read to know anyway..
we'll catch up right? haa... giving myself more chance to meet you people... do meet up yeah.. keke

ciaoz..

??

2009-07-21T16:00:00.002+08:00

hip hop, salsa, study, martial arts, sleep,meet up

movie,museum

club????

Lan??

Ktv??

if you know what it all means.. decipher yourself..

inspired by MJ

2009-07-12T23:55:00.005+08:00

well it has been weeks since the announcement of our king of pop departure from the world...

why in the first place, such a great singer is not cherished and some wanna criticised him from his error made and only till now, when his gone from the world, then there are people who decides rmb his good and once again bury the hatchet and show their love for him...

why must others lose something then they will realise how unforgettable that person is to them?

i just hope those who do not cherish things will learn how to cherish what they have ...

no doubt his music is good...

no doubt it has been part of our life...

how i wish he had continued releasing album so good that it continues to thrill us to the core..

his music is till now, in the english music industry, the only kind and one that will keep me feel that its nice and unique..

old it may be but good music should not be abandonned becos it is created way back so long it has its unique taste and its nice..

now that his gone.. there is only memories to be kept..

rest in peace... michael jackson...

in life

2009-07-05T23:35:00.002+08:00

for life, there are many things that are more important..

yet there are many who do not realised it...

if all the people do realised things like how the philosopher do, there will be no such things as growing up..

thus it is not achievable...

many thing is no big deal after all once you look back..

will you go all out despite the weird timing just to accomplish what you want to do before its too late? or will you rather save the pride and gamble with time to save it for a perfect moment...and what if tmr nv comes?

would you ever pause to wonder why people will do the thing they do and what leads them to react that way?

would you rather be forgiving or penalised them?

no single people is different from each other...yet people perceived themselves differently...

it all goes back to basic and the life they went through after all...

life itself is not complicated... but it is made complicated..

and what we need, is just a little understanding....

SCH STARTED

2009-07-02T15:07:00.002+08:00

OMG... disaster..... school have started!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and what disaster have just happened? my hands are going to declare detached soon..

but actually..

seriously speaking..

life in school is pretty routine and boring..

nothing special happen..

except....

actually nothing.. lol

football in class without a ball counted?
people celebrating birthday counted?<--but i not involve
"happily" writing notes down counted?

so in view of all these, i find its rather bored so...
i decide to pop by ulu pandan campus to learn a new dance call bachata.. 2 lesson only anyway..

going soon.. after that i dunno..

maybe.. tmr and the day after might go out alone for fun.. rather bored anyway.. weekend dunno anyone will be available or not.. yawn i nv ask everytime anyway haha..whos free?

alright nth else to write.. just scram off now jy..

till then.. tata

just a question for myself

2009-06-29T13:09:00.002+08:00

where do my interest lies?

nothing seems to excite me and let me want to strive for the best of the best unconsciously...so much that i did not realised i am actually working so hard towards..

with an effort that i can feel a limit just isn't the one that can fit into this category..

so what is it???????????

questionmark.....
??????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????

an answer i will need to find out..

maybe its something i dun get to do just as yet....

maybe.....

^^

2009-06-04T21:33:00.001+08:00

kids are just so cute..

one moment they throw trantum at each other.. the other moment.. you see them making each other laugh again..

hahah ^^

cute..

i agree

2009-06-02T00:12:00.002+08:00

there is something i agree...

bravery comes with the price of losing something..

so long you are not afraid to lose it, you can be brave enough to do it..
but if you are one who cherish things, all the more you will feel afraid to do something....

when one is not afriad of the consequences of do not care about it, he can be really brave... so brave that you asking why he have the guts..

but in the other hand.. once he had experience in losing it and when he learned to cherish it, he will be afraid to lose it and all the more he will be afriad to do things making him a timid..

so those who always won and failed litle can picked up easily and brave on..

but who would have thought those who always lost and won little can easily pick up and be brave once again?

some people just have the right way to do it and have some instinct for it.. some people actually do not really have it and how are they going to make it?

so all the more you need to try tings, make sure you can really harden yourself and ignore the consequences and not afraid to lose it... once you had little hope to cherish it , gone is your bravery...

dead and gone....

nth

2009-05-28T02:07:00.002+08:00

i am living in comfty... infiltrate my world please..

hahaha..

i must be crazy haha..

or maybe i shall launch an attack soon again.. since ancient it is always our duty to do the bad thing and see if we are accepted ahahha

no peace... roar...

ok enough of crap.. i'm waiting for chalet on friday..saturday jurong point got jolin tsai coming wow.. 1pm.. feel like rush back and see haha..

there after... training for work and actual work.. 4 days salary only

and.. its waiting for ICT..

i wonder if the pub job can accept or not.. then next time go there work for money.. haa near only anyway..

citibank i guess is goner.. so long alr no news

gv also.. maybe if i want i got schedule now can try again.. sch days go gv work.. grr... revise the schedule and consider reapply see how..

i need money.. i wanna go oversea. hahaha

and i going to buy all the stuff lacking for me to groom and cure whatever i wanted to...

now that i decided to slash some contact off.. i should have more money for myself.. damn spend till i wasted money.. those people merely is not worth it to spend on them i realise..

to think i treat them thinking they are ok... they still backstab behind my back...

and itch again.. wanna write something but then... i guess not... orevious post stir up a bit of crooks in talking again i guess.. lets not get them busy...i write at other blog for my inspiration.. maybe can ask my writer friend to see if he wanna use haha...

ciaoz.. haha

you know i love you..

gossip boy olol

21 may 2009.. i willl rmb this day

2009-05-25T00:18:00.002+08:00

what a day..full of surprises and happy day for me..

sent bro's maid off to airport today.. and i activate my..."since i am out why not go out for a while" mindset haaa...
then on the way.. i choose between bugis and orchard...since i went city hall before alr..
and guess what.. i am at orchard..
and suddenly i thought of using the expiring ticket i held...
and wowla... i ended up catchoing night at the museum 2 haha..

wow... night at the museum 2 is nice .... those who watched night at the museum will appreciate and understand better for this.. i made a right choice watching it today.. i feel so glad ^^ no more dragging till everyone is free and watch it on the dot on the day it is released haha.. i'm bored anyway...

its hilarious and adventurious.. nice..
the love part.. is just something i doubt any girls nowadays will do..

the cupid.. is just so nice.. songs ^^ love it..
monkey... now with 2.. is just as witty and cutey as ever haa.. irritating some said..

with the company ard.. i guess they enjoyed the show as much as i do too... i wish they had a good night..smilng with happiness sweetly into the dream and dreamnt of the show haaa... probably the love part.. where it could not really happpen in reality...

and whats next.... interesting... i went to..................

Jurong....................................................

which means...

HOME SWEET HOME...

keke..

just being bored and thinking of things to write..

2009-05-20T17:37:00.003+08:00

midst covered my path... i see no one anymore except image of human..unforeseen faces and characters... behind is all clear yet i cant look back... but cant stop from wondering... whose behind me supporting me all this while...

looking sideways... eyes half tiled.. it is not clear whose walking alongside me... some familiar scent and image i might smell and seen before... but it will never be know fully without confirmation with them telling me who they are...after a long time and pass by lots of people..

turning to confirm, yet will partially slow down me again from the danger ahead... and will need help from them to alert me...everything requires attention... trade off... is what people always faces...

yet sometimes, should you pass by a good soul, your back is safetly covered for.. but should you pass by a bad soul and never alert yourself from shoving away from them, you will never know what will they do behind your back.. yet looking back to prevent and cure what they might do will slow your progress down again and you got to stop walking.. probably hurt you so much that you need time to recover before you look forward and progress again.. crooks.. thats what i call those bastards...

along the road.. you may walked a wrong path.. miss out things and caused inconveniece and harm to others but there is no perfect road and smooth sailing ... forgiveness and willing to change and walk the correct path will lead you to your destination.. avoid mistakes.. or you will hold yourself back by trouble that you caused before and when others are not forgiving enough to stop bringing harm to you...

be grateful...for frds supporting you behind... maybe you cannot look back but help them move forward when they want to and grab you for help if your side are empty and able to and walk side by side to face the danger... ignore them and they will leave your life forever as your distance between each other is lengthened.. and dun forget.. they are behind you.. good soul turn bad.. that is the last thing you want to know...... look up to those in front.. you might want to know what they do to be ahead of you...

whatever it is... sometimes... you need to rest.. or else you might lost track of where you are heading due to fatigue and need to give yourself time to review and think through your route so you will be able to adjust yourself.. people may help you but they got their own route to go through too and help cannot be forever..

look up... observe the sky... see how the times flies day by day... so while resting.. you can make sure you do not take too long... and rest enough and make sure you move on short after you rested enough.. or else staying there and keep reviewing will lead you no where...its sometimes the emotional feeling that is most hard to fight for you to press on...help and encouragement will be needed when you cant stand on yourself temporary... but what matter most is yourself...

press on.. be brave... walk through your mistakes... master your fear... be... the better you..

---------THE END---------------

wow

2009-05-16T11:12:00.001+08:00

say it.. 3 words 8 syllabus...

i chase you long enough.. now you chase me...

gosh

2009-05-15T16:45:00.001+08:00

unlucky or what...

gonna revert to newspaper soon.. i mean very soon...
gosh!!!!!

you know what?

2009-05-12T21:30:00.004+08:00

i was reading my last blog.. slapped myself a little again...

my mum's back... now i appreciate it.... with someone ard and with no one ard is simply different..

althoug you may stick to your room as usual, theatmosphere and feeling is simmply different..

i actually feel like staying home and have the mood to watch movie and drama at home...things that never will occur to me when no one is home..

i ever have this thought on what will i be if i had never commit such a grave error back then.... will life be much better than now..

probably without a bad name.. things will go on in a easier mode.....i just wish i never put my clinque in the position of being classified as weirdo and broke their possibility of getting to know friends due to me..

still..... i got myself to repair out of the bad name.. maybe.. mistakes makes me grow up.. i needed it to improve.. which i said before.. i want to be better and better yet i cant seem to find what to be better on and this mistake just makes me realised things.. revealed me to many if not, all the things i have to become better on...

and for once.. i started to feel like not knowing hhaa...well well... for the better me.....lets strive...

BE THE BEST OUT OF THE WORLD...... probably this is what it takes to really put my dreams into practice and finally be what i always wanted to achieve.. starting from personality that will eventually lead to my destination...if i were to make what i thinnk real.... i got THAT MUCH to learn before i really excel to be what i thiink i can be......

and laziness is sure the top of the list...combined with some personality changes for a start...

WAY TO GO....<-- sounnds a long way and demoralising so i change

ITS NOT GONNA BE LONG..GOGOGO!!!!!

^^ i knoow self hynotised dun work nor writing down so TIMe.. thats all i need... gotta prove it.... yeah!!! <-- i always hate to admit but this time i have to agree.... my elder brother was right.. i have to prove things.. and my eldest was right too... put words into action and stop procastinating.. i have great siblings and parents... i regretted putting their upbringing to a doubt by my foolish conduct...

r/s... although people says first time sure fail so go get experience.. but i dun like experience.. this is no play thing thoough it is needed to know what right to do and whats not in being tgt with someone..i only hope.. if it comes it will stay.. lets start first in making myself better...others... will makes its way and find a chapter in my life someday..

just something

2009-05-11T19:45:00.006+08:00

it was told that a man should fight for his love and what he belief in despite the obstacles and differences that behold him in front..

i wonder if i should do the same...

face the storm again and reach for the epicentre ?

current answer: unknown... i am not a good calibre enough for this thingy..and i dun have what a typical man should have -->self confidence...

but whatever it is.. i guess ..just friends....

what i meant is.... not going to get gf at current

1,2,3 and..

2009-05-08T21:36:00.002+08:00

exam is over.... gonna give myself 2 day break since it be weekend..

after that i am going to so visit agenbcy and hope to get a job...

sigh now that exam is over..have no idea what to do...

nothing to occupy my mind..

need money..

maybe will go back malaysia if really cant find..

haiz.. everyone is leaving... so sad...

for once i thought i can be no longer a loner... yet i think i got to accept beiing one... just cant seem to bond with people since i think it lies with me..

maybe admitting defeat will just make my life better... no expectation, no sadness, no depression, no nothing..life will be happier and content..

probably if i cant mixed in to the group who chase fashion and being look down at and said shitty things regarding dressing, i guess i should just take it.. cant satisfy everyone everything anyway

haiz some friends i really wanna keep yet due to other tell me not so friendly, i dun try to go talk... in the end, i also dunno how i project to them.. think if i cant secure them, i just have to let go..

well............ lets not go further................

see how... what meant to be will be....

always say all this sigh.. i should learn to shut up.. lol

till now

exam

2009-05-03T21:44:00.002+08:00

i feel bad.. despite trying.. i still have a feeling i am going to fail..
did not do well alr is not good..
failure to get hd or di is alr not satisfying parent expectation..

yet now i am going to fail..... wtf have i been doing...

the rest of the ppaper should be ok.. hope to perform..

yet this fail will have a great impact on my life

geezz....

kah yau!!!! not well learnt enough to display your full capability... 1 demerit point... <-- crazy i am talking to myself ..insane man...lol

discipline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!discipline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

motivation!!!!!!!!!!!!!! motivation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seek knowledge!!!!!!!!!!!sek improvement!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

tired

2009-04-21T22:04:00.002+08:00

weakness nv change
strength fading
situation nv change
from many back to only one..
coward
undisciplined
cannot hold one ground

save him..

beeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

reform..

2009-04-12T14:14:00.002+08:00

its time to work on my internal...

its just diffficult to strike a balance....
i wonder since when it had gone to this extend...
all i need to do, is to change back to merely what i could be last time...
other improvements.. wait till i'm there first..

hope i do not make more mistakes throughout the reforming of myself..

haiz

2009-04-12T01:24:00.003+08:00

i guess i dun fit in to the group anymore..

i grow up, not wanting people to disrespect me like that.... do the stuff when its not a majority decision.. its not like its a confusion of decision that requires him to make decision and do it his way this time.. its like more to what he want and thinking the group will abide to it..cos his the boss..

i can be anything.. so long its a group decision..its just not logical to be revolving ard him and we are always the one more to accomodate him..at least if there is room for discussion its alright... he did not even open up to discuss it.. thats what angers me...

i hate being disrespected.. this is always something that never fail in driving my anger up... he use to have respect for people.. now? .. not..

maybe when his with me only maybe he will still remember... with a group, he lose it.. i appreciated the way he chose lemon tea..and watch movie proposal...its becos he is still ok with it... for things he dun want, he never leave room for discussion and just do it his way.. thats what i hate..

if only things he dun like he also try to convince us to change decision and stick to what his ok with rather then disrespect people like that... nth will happen..

bottom line: respect people no matter who they are...even if they normally ok with things, do still ask them to show your basic respect to them as an individual..

last day of school

2009-04-10T01:30:00.003+08:00

well i have reached my last day of school...

i think my life for the next 2 years will be just like that... got friends.... but end of it all, alone... thinking abt it just makes me go out of my pace once before... now i just think.... wait bah... fate will decide when its time... so those who care about me.. i'm sorry i officially gave up...

so whats is coming up for my life?

i'm meeting my sec sch teacher tmr keke... been long..

night zouk for bachata event.. <-- a kind of social dance

and drink till drop after event over.. dress code red.. omg i dunno what to wear liao..

sat parents flying off again... what shall i do?

no plans... study have to be in my schedule due to exam on 30 april...

nth else to write... am no interesting guy so its just a boring blog haa...

"sometimes, without losing it, you dun know what you had... yet even if you know, it just cant do without knowing how to secure it..even if knowing, it does not mean you can do what you wanted without prcticing it"

abt blog..

2009-04-07T23:47:00.002+08:00

for my brothers....i decided to re=activate the blog...

initially.. decide to just off it ..

now.. i think i just have to learn to think before i write..

well bro..... this are things i do lately..

study... test... now i am on my last week of lecture... tburs officially ends the lecture... and 30 april is my exam.. last till one week later...

late jun i have reservist.. yes you are right... back to the greenery and haste... no more slow and lazy me while in there... only fast and furious.. else kenna pump lol...

i got some other none blog-able thing i wannna tell you all.... our secret i got some answer to it alr...ask me when we meet..

kopi session someday :)

my bag broke... it died on sengkang.. no more sling... merely holding it... got to buy bag liao ..... wallet also..... handphone cover also if i stillwant to prevent scratches or in case i placed on wet surface accidentally, the handphone is protected..

so broke... yet holiday.. i can only work from mid may to mid jun
one month and 1 week again..die i hope i can get job...

"friends come and go.. whoever are fated to stay, will eventually, whoever cross your path only, will always remain to be bypasser no matter how hard you want them to stay"

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

2009-04-03T12:02:00.000+08:00

(1) Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever:Is a woman's way of saying FightYOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

very true

2009-03-27T12:24:00.003+08:00

well as i read some online sources... i'm happy..

some friends of mine finally realise how people ard my uni are so evil and how much i tried to battle this evil souls...

there are many yes.. i mean it..

only a handful are kind and good... seriously a handful...

good breed more goodness...evil breed more retribution.... just they wait...they deserve to get a tight slap ...

i wonder whoo are the people they are wary of.... in case i miss out...

am still sourcing throughout my schooling...hope people i know will not be hurt... for although i never talked much, deep inside i really wish we can be good friend..gut feeling says so..

sigh

2009-03-23T21:02:00.001+08:00

some close frd of mine experience almost the same thing i did.. except it is a bit better, overall not very good anyway..

i bet he has to bear the error made and endure what the lack of effective communication has to come for him.

come to think of it.. its really a reminder... but i will continue to seek answer to tackle it... and hope to be able to share it with him in the near future on how to deal with it....

need more research and understanding... for sloving this issue is no longer a simple thing when society is so tainted with bad people ard...orst.. fake people who just loves to play..

way to go.... continue being normal..

its complicated..

2009-03-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

human are just so hard to understand..
woman especially..

when you think you know.. think again.. you might be wrong..

when you think you wrong.. think again.. you might be right ..

but when you ask, they willl give you a diffferent answer..

when you dun ask, they will eventually not tell you a lie..

when they lied, you nv know what happen that makes them lie

when you dun care why, somehow you find the answer someday..

yet sometimes when you dun search for it, it might never surface..

they get close to you for a reason you dunno..

yet when there are really sincere ones, you nv know they are...

geez.... human.... why cant they just be true to one another...

kampong life is so much better.. people tell things truthfully to others... care for one another.. bondage strong..everyday is pure and sincere....

ok another random thoughts...so random that i dunno what strucks me from thinking abt it..

crazy

2009-03-07T04:15:00.000+08:00

i think my body clock has been switched for a reason or two from dunno since when... i am awake at 4am lol

very awake.....

what shall i do? am gng to do some thing the next day... and still awake lol like not scare of insufficient sleep...

but anyway... was thinking abt studying... ater i do then i cfm it.. i always change my mind in a nick of the moment <--hope i use it right.. my english sucks actually..(which i dun have to say and it could be reflected in my blog anyway but well i just feel like writing it down who cares lol)

yawn i do not know how but many thing just comes... and they always at the time where you got others things... have to choose always.. but when you are bored to death, they just dun want to come.... how irritating... say for test... next week consecutively got one paper after the other with no gap between each paper..
and mcq to practice all adds up to ard 400

crazy then one week or so later assignment due date

i wish i was still as crazy as sem 1 to do everything ready beforehand... though that makes ppeople think this person no life lol... but well...i am lazy what to do... cant do it... even now i am blogging instead of studying..what a waste of time...

my progress for malay regretabbly stays haven gone much.. my knowledge on financial and business world is stilll like a kid.. know little..news i occasionally read...jap i nv do much abt it.. got plenty of books placed there nv touch..

geez.... and i dare to blog it out damn it... can i be just more hardworking? and nerdy ..... benefits will be seen in future but then as of current, will just be laughed at thats all...

geez.. you know from the way i geez means..... i am stilll lazy... if my dad knows what i been doing, and if his in singapore, i guess i dare not be so much of a slacker and waste time.. becos pressure lol... but i hate pressure.. lol

so how to get things done? hmmm..... when i feel the need to do it i will.... thus wahahahaa.... i should re-discipline mysef not to be so undisciplined again....

ok talking abt discipline, i should stop blogging alr... get the thing started....

ciaozz............ ^^

pondering

2009-03-02T20:40:00.000+08:00

i got lots of things to think abt lately...

i am wondering what is happening to things ard me finally... apart than the usual thing i am thinking of..

a lot of things seems to be changing... and as usual all are hidden...

sometimes, i really hope i am brilliant in that area rather than such a dim witted me in that area...

nevertheless, those unsolved things i am still discovering the truth to it..and as usual me, i will not take action till i am sure of it..

those new things i am taking note of it...

home alone is never as good sometimes.. lots of things for you to think of and do ...

heavy.... my shoulder feels... so much things to think and do... study have yet to perfection...

besides, i will stop everything should it be clear to me....cos i need to know...

wah

2009-03-01T22:22:00.000+08:00

just watched "he's just not that into you"

amazingly, i found out things that others will project as you are not that into her..

and it feels like i did almost everything that is not that into.. when it was suppose to meant the opposite back then... anyway there should be a show to show people "maybe shes not that into you too"

lol ... i think i need to learn this things cos typical dumb me have no idea what it will signal to others..

maybe i am the exceptional one lol.... since i dunno the rules..and i only sincerely said things that really contains some elements of truth in it..

however, i think there are some things to let pple know that she is not that into you ... i kinda think maybe thats it.. so kinda fortunate i didn't do anything.. if preservering really counts like what they says.. well i dunno... at least if there is some result maybe i believe... only applies to people who might have chemical together bah i suppose.. but then never get together yet...

maybe can use some of the hint to help gauge if i am really into someone too.. using marrying as a perspective to gauge is rather good... will you marry the girl you date? if not, maybe you not that into her..

but i guess, worrying too much breed nth except unneccesary worries sometimes.. so.. there is no definite answer to it all.... wait for yours to come.. wish everyone luck in love...

and catch the show.. lol...

oh crap

2009-02-27T20:13:00.000+08:00

i just realise my tagboard is down... although its of no much use but then .... its still part of the blog so long i nv remove it.. gonnna "repair" it soon..

exhaustion is getting on me... i actually really enjoyed a good 2 min nap at sch... cant resist it.. too tired....which is kind of bad.... just a night of exercise in dancing tired me out till i cannot handle lol.. "although i still play game at night though lol :X"

tues is statistic test... dunno how the blue f____ hell to study it..shalll intense study only on mon i guess.. mcq qns i think can handle unless i have no idea how to use the formula to calculate...

some people nv come to sch today.. studying for test i guess... so weekend can enjoy still.. or simply, just lazy to come lol... sometimes gng to sch really need something to motivate you to go... somehow...

bball then night celebrate frd birthday.... wondering am i staying late or not... sunday go catch movie if possible.. then hop into study mood liao
monday whole day study... sleepy? die liao then lol...

ok time flies i gonna study now.. at least know when to use what formula... or else i be really gone case

awakening....

2009-02-26T21:28:00.000+08:00

came back from hip hop....light heaRTED MOOD...
and when i read back my own post.. while now its calm and when i dun feel like thinking... actually i find that.. why do i insist to find out? i just cant give a damn reason for it..

but stilll i guess it wouldn't die till i really seriously from the bottom of my heart think that it really does not matter anymore..

and looking at my frustration... i am thinking... maybe anger have overcome me again and again... there are bound to be people like that so why make your life miserable? why the anger...

well i guess i am just not happy that i am not able to be the real me again and have to live in life where i created to be in the eye of others just becos of an experiment and a test and try out in doing the abnormal and risk it all...

even when those words that are meant to be kept untold i even try to write it out... sometimes, who do not have evil thoughts or self right thought? but those are just need to be kept to yourself seriously... so why express out when it does not really mean to be anything at all and just wild thinking?

i got to blame myself for that..... so sometimes, there are things that you better not try.... cos it just ruin your life... similiar to theft and murder....

life is a complicated thing...yet if you do everything in the right way and with everyone mentality being nice and right and not expect too much, it can just be simple and easy..

i sincerely hope i will cleanse all hatred and live life as happy as my secondary life again......where i find i am at my most discipline self and best attitude towards life..

blog of frustration and unsolve things..

2009-02-25T18:44:00.000+08:00

there is just that one thing that i dun understand..... making me like before....
and i think i over observe again.. since the lecture is so boring once again i cant help but do other things..

what is the meaning when others are looking at you.. there is no one general answer... many people look for different things.. many just wanna seee you being a fool again and happily joke ard with your "new" action.. some.. i dunno... some, is just looking when they saw you looking at him...some.. is merely staring blindly..

and one conclusion... when others have bad impression of you.. it is never going to change... people are rigid in their belief and believe in what they see only...

just do the norm and make them think nth changes bah...

since they will think "it cant be lets wait surely he will be back to square one, like a fool"

thats how bull shit people are nowadays... i regrettted wanting to know them before.. now i just cant ignore even when they are an ass...have to be "normal"

i sometimes want to leave my clinque and be alone... i am so scare that i will make them look bad ard with me, being bullshit by people who just got nth to do but to make fun of you and your frds..... people like to generalise them tgt with me.. nth good comes out from those shit..

i just cant handle child like them... i am wondering if i am really studying university... maturity just dun seem to be the word for them..i miss interacting with some of the mature people in the society.. though there are still crooks ard the world that did not grow up from the right mentality...

being not able to handle those shit is my lack of training.... i shall improve myself.. there will be more shit in society and if i cant turn the tide now, i cant turn the tide in future... see how i grow from "your" "guidance" shit people...

"if not now, when? if not you, who?"
"when you succeed, people follows"
"when you have yet attain success, people mock at your so call stupidity, when you shown results, people will just find excuses to look good for themselves for the mocking"

this 3 phrases is so true... the world nowadays is like that..for great people or say a successful entrepreneur,they will do thing right away as they understand if they drag on, nth will happen and if they dun do, no one will....

when they succeed, people will want to do the same business as they do

but in the process of attaining success, others will tend to mock at his idea and says it do not work.. when he finally succeeded, those who mock him before will have reasons and reasons to say to look good..

thats how the world do things.... making things that are simple made difficult by those people who talk alot to deter and does not want to do thing and change to make life better and just being a asshole for others..with tons of self right excuses to back themselves up..

i am just full of anger when it comes to talk abt crooks... they are just here to ruin my life with nothing better to do as they feel life in sch is just too boring and wanna spread tales to others without giving others a leeway to survive.. it was just an error made why must it be spread ard.. you know nth abt me idiot.. i am just so pissed off

deep thought

2009-02-24T19:06:00.000+08:00

after moments of considering.... i guess being a self conscious me, i am just punishing myself for my wrongdoings..

you tend to be a shit when your life is in shit situation and people ard you just happen to treat you like shit.... you will be shitty in whatever you do without knowing... probably called fuk up,some people might say...you just dun feel like controlling and do whatever you feel like without bothering anything.. and ends up... i am sure the result is very bad... tarnishing bondage... killing impression...

if you dun trust me, wait till you experience it.... feel it yourself.. and dun forget you once said these words to people and now it might applies to you.. with you and your self right excuses to back up yourself when it happens...

egoistic... thats what is manipulating you...

what turns ard goes ard too.... retribution sure comes... and be sure.. why some of those crooks during your schooling years can turn out to be a nice guy in future.. and looking back, you just cant believe he is so bad then... even him might say his childish then...

there are many things i failed to understand... maybe, its not an area i should touch on until fate have decided that i should know... am not going to be reckless like before... sometimes, time is a good tools in your hand... it gives you preparation before you are ready so you will be able to handle things in future..probably, i am just not ready yet... although i think i am.. fate have decided that i need more time.. thus well should anyone tried to encourage me for some things and i did not do it, i'm sorry i am just listening to what is arranged for me... i'll wait....for the right time for the right thing in the right moment...when everything is right.. even my personality nurtured itself enough to allows it..

sit back and relax and enjoy the show.... its quite a nice phrase to me... sit back, relax and enjoy what life have to give you.... fast forward is not a good thing as you will regret that you never see the details along your way and forced yourself to see the result and making yourself not prepared when the times comes for you to reflect and tell others what you exppereince in your life.. those nitty gritty stuff..even if its written as in a compo, it lack substance as you only know the head and tail but not the body..

be forgiving and forgive others... another nice phrase... you want people to forgive you, you have to first be forgiving... but if you chose to forgive others and yet others chose not to forgive you, they will face their fare share of understanding in future.. life is fair at times..at times ok.. lol ... it make you see what you did to others in a period of time for you to reflect yourself... and maybe things you dun get to understand will be shown to you in a moment of time without you realising its coming...

life is about understanding things too anyway.... things that you do not understand do not mock others when you see it.. or else one day when you get to experience it, you make yourself feel shameful on what you did to others... as maybe you wil be doing the same thing withoout realising it..always be lenient and kind to others..you never know when you neeed themto be like that too.. even though you might be emotionally strong now and do not need it...

ok i guess i just written what i feel like saying at current since it just came... time for revision.. test tmr mcq though but well must do well......(i drop using hope to push myself to better limit you see.. at least for now..)

2009-02-21T20:30:00.001+08:00

when i got time.. i have no mood to clear it...
now i have no time.. and i have mood to clear it..

wah the hell am i doing lol..

anyway... lately... catching up with sec frds.. nothing beats being with them and not forgetting my best frds, relatives and my click... i seems to have less flaws when i am with them as the mood of controlling and modest and everything seems to just come back.. lol.. i was very well disciplined before seriously... you be surprise.. i feel way lousier i am then i was before.. seriously...

anyway... been studying alone when i found no one to go out nor anyone calling me..

i do feel less lonely nowadays.... but being content is just not too good as there is bound to be better life i guess... but no lousier than now please haa...

i think i enjoy hip hop haa... i like those music maybe.. and those move can solo practice unlike salsa who need to partner with people and do wrong will make you pai sei lol..i like salsa too just that it is more pai sei nia.. lol..when you execute wrong..

but hip hop requires more endurance and speed and reflex.. i feel rather rigid sia lol..looking at myself executing the move seems like so weird lol.. thats what it is to be a beginner haa.. allegra the instructor dance really well.. seems young i wonder if she is a student too.. anyway everyone is wondering not only me haa..

that spells why i like to watch at concert for hip hop too... salsa too.. even people singing contest... i like music haa.. but am no master for it..

i am wondering what i should do after the 8 lesson.. if i really feel i can cope, should i go for audition on hip hop or salsa? or shouldi go learn more like jap and guitar.. i love to learn new things but i lack the peserverance for continuing lol.. there are some things i like and i continue though..

valentine day quote...

2009-02-13T10:26:00.000+08:00

"woman are all pretty in one way or another, but who will be the one that catchs your heart and make you really act regardless of rain or shine ?"

4 min

2009-02-12T22:50:00.001+08:00

in 4 min... it will be valentine day...
have you did what you want to achieve for a shot on this very day??

in this 21st century, it does not matter if guys date girls or girls date guys out alr... end of the day, just one thing is achieve that is, a chance on everlasting love...

good luck every brave heart and loving people... its finallly the day to express your love..

well i have no idea how i am going to spend the day.. got bball appt but dun feel like gng actually haa.. home as usual? or.. ya go hunt for some things..

anyway... wish i have some frds who wanna go out or go clubbing.. been feeling like gng lately just cant seem to have any frds who wanna go.. sibei sian...at least i know i have know quite many good and money saving soul who seldom go to this place as it is money consuming.. keke..but still having some to go is still well... colors adding to life i would say... not a need just my want haa..

alrite now is valentine day...(as i typed and 4 min passed.). heart beats of many starts to clock right now.. some might not be even well asleep just thinking abt that the moment for them have finally arrived..

well the reason why i am not asleep differs.. boring people like me who nv go pursue is just typically finished watching some movie called the tales of benjamin buttons... and currently not sleepy yet..

well its amazing how you can view life from a different life cycle.. old to young and back to infant..
and one thing is true... learn to cherish and do not live life with regrets...

ops..

2009-02-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

now its closed...
too bad...
but well... also good haaa.... no one to witness how dumb i dance lol...

and you know some things??... i might go out hunt on v day lol...
hunt for what??

:P secret..
definitely not girls..seriosuly no... just...
i be dumb if i tell you here....
:X

wahahaaa.........can you "smell" what i am hiding? waahahhah

anyway...
given the rate i am going.. i think i might love to gym more.. depends.. really too slacked liao.. many things cant handle due to lack of training.. just thoughts anyway.. thought is always not what me in person will perform at the end of the day.. unless you make me drunk waahaha.. or something to make me not think so much and just go with gut feeling... else.. too bad... regrets.. tear in the eyes...

and.... my option is still open.... so long the distance still remains like that..

am i too scary? lol... or did i give out a "dun talk to me" aura that everyone is not talking to me ,except my clinque lol..or everyone is merely maintaining their pride and want others to talk to them so as to not lose face??? i merely admit i might be a bit dao at times cos i dunno if they really treat me as frds or not... and i dun want to be the one smiling to them then kenna bo hui..like last time.. and dunno what pple is thinking la... sometimes, they like friendly.. other times, like bo hui... so qi guai... how can i not do likewise? lol.. just to be safe..

aiya.... i just wanna say.. i do treat all i know as frds la.. so long i smiled to you and attempted to talk to you before.. close case..

end of the day... i just hope life to be simple, nice, with frds ard and families, had frds hanging out session.. study and work hard tgt,learn things throughout the studying life,normally graduated, live life without "i thought you... so i" kinda crappy delaying frdship or anything kind of thing concrening human interaction.... and did whatever i want to do before i stepped into the cruel world of business with politics, struggles and r/s hurting issues....

pple always says why i say like my life so cham like that... they dun understand... it is that cham.. without gng through somethings, they will nv understand so i not even gng to explain unless they are someone who went through hardship, or maybe display a maturity level from the way they see things and handle it that probably let me feels he can understand this issue.... else its no use explaining when they can understand the skin of the problem but not the flesh of it..
well complain i may be.. but many things, actually i dun mind doing just love to complain only... and may it be fair to me when i did it as i need people to really think abt others and not take things for granted.. as usually people really do in one way or another..which will cause my reluctant to extend my help..

hmm why am i writing so much? i thought i wanna do a short post only haaa...and i think.. i should stop explaining myself... fact speaks for itself.. i think its call "res ipsa loquitor" if not wrong.. forgot..check it out "someday"<--meaning when i rmb and feels like checking it which means, may or may not do depending on the urgency i rate it in my brain.. lol .

okok stop liao... not nice anymore like essay liao... good night.. happy valentines day in....25 hours time..

your only chance

2009-02-10T19:32:00.000+08:00

come learn hip hop..thursday
6pm-7.30pm

sim ulu pandan campus...

before its too late...and saturday came.. then week pass.. time flies... graduated..

http://simdreamwerkz.blogspot.com/

hope got more friends learnng tgt.. keke..

just dance...

2009-02-04T19:13:00.000+08:00

ok i did it... this time i be learning hip hop...thurs 7-8pm at ulu pandan..
think will go union after that and salsa lol..

dance dance dance...lets dance..

i live up to my name.. jack of all trades... but i dun like to use jack as my christian name haaa...

i be trying to improve... main priority is studies....rest learn for knowledge and colors to my sch life can liao waakaak..

i wonder if there will be a time where performance team for salsa comes directly after my training.. i'll be spotted by then lol..

if able to, salsa after that also not a bad idea.. lol..

whatever it is...... just dance....(not forgetting studies also lol and..... if still alright, dota after that lol...)

i think my planned timing in my head will be..

10-1pm sch, 2-3pm sleep 3.30-6pm try to read lol.. 7-8pm hip hop... if no union, 10-12am dota......lol

i do that everyday....

why i say try to read.. cos, i dun normally read so long or able to sit down and really study cos...... the sight of it makes me sleepy lol....

however i at least can make myself read 30 min...before my typical concentration runs out and do others things or sleep..

unlesss... a problem is there for me and i being typical dun wanna say die, will be awake and try to solve it...else.... no doubt... SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok whatever ....

whatever you do... whatever it is.. just remember...

just dance....????????....just dance...??????? (a song)

2009-02-03T21:54:00.001+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Looked down on
Disappointment
Where Your life is Going
Death
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

valentine soon

2009-02-03T15:01:00.000+08:00

weeks have passed... its now once again valentine day... soon...

seen many short love stories.. i feel like creating some.. lol

as below..

=====================================================================

Valentine... a time where realisation of love strikes him...
a day where many snatched the opportunity for a date..
here he is..wanting give the love of his life everything..

Yet, reality is cruel... he could only wish from afar..
guts is his flaws... image is his concern..
others says, love conquer all odds...
yet being him, he is no conquerer when it comes to love..

Shine he may be in others..
little do anyone knows , there is one flaw in him.
excuses, reasons, all reasonable he found for explaination..
neatly covered up without a sign of imperfection..

One day... where he finally found courage, everything went wrong...
today where everythings right, he lost what he needed most...
he finally made up his mind....

May they find happinness...

he took the route.... of love is about giving....
wishing others happy..
and said

"should one day you need me again, i will always be there for you.."

====The End=====

and another one...

as follow

===========================================================================
"will you be my gf?"

he added at the middle of the heart in the normal looking little star he folded,
awaiting the girl to notice his hint as he tease and says in front of her

"lets play a game.. i bet you are not able to keep the little star i gave you in shape..doubt you are that careful to let it last.."

she replied " who says so... i dare you to dare me"

he added "ok, lets set a deadline, if it is still in shape when valentine day arrive, i give you a dinner treat and pay for your shopping that day... if you failed, you treat me for dinner that day"

she says "ok.. i make sure that it is in shape and i bring it everytime so you can see for yourself... get ready your money " she giggled

Days drew near... he checked on her.... no doubt it is untouched.. his heart sunk..
hoping she will "lose the bet"

the day arrived...
they met up..
there before him.... he saw the star...
it seems.. the secret will never be discovered.. and he knows it will be akward to tell her all these, wishing that she will notice it and give it a thought rather, than making it weird for them both..

things goes on as normal..he treated and paid for her shopping...

till before they parted,the girl suddenly said

"actually, i have lost the bet...and if you asked me, i might consider....."

then she added "as in treat you back.."

but he is puzzled.. and just said "nevermind its alright i'll treat you either way.. "

then she said "give you back the star, i guess it is of no use anymore, since our bet is over...help me throw away.."

and she passed him back the star before she left hastily,catching her incoming train...

while waiting for his train to arrive, he looked at the star..
puzzled at whether the words he wrote are still there, he opened up... and beside what he wrote, he saw a word.....

"yes"

=============The End================================

useless

2009-02-03T14:36:00.000+08:00

===================================
so useless..
===================================
broke any heart?

===================================
nth new

===================================

take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dun wanna stay that routine
===================================

my heart is struggling
believing in my feelings or giving up

===================================

except...

2009-02-02T18:12:00.000+08:00

take care and be healthy...shine again..

2009-01-29T20:20:00.000+08:00

day one.. gathering.. took pic for my cousins

one of my cousin sweet baby...must be a handsome one in future.. i call him the next Wu Zhun haaha..

then with thiis clothings, we are off to

clubbing... Aloha...

day 2 rest then day 3... hey hey we wear the same kid of clothing..

with that, we are going to malacca mahkota dream box for KTV .. supper is eaten after every outing... woo noo wonder i grew fatter... heck.. thats the way for chinese new year haaa...

there are lots of minor activities and things that i did not take photo of..like friends visiting, and visiting people..
more to go...
doubt i will put up..

thats all for my CNY blog posting..want more? i share with you if you are close to me... close people have the privilege keke..

bye and happy moo moo year ....

:)

2009-01-27T14:58:00.000+08:00

tired, happy, awaiting more till sch starts..

lazy brb..

finding guts once again..

where inner might comes again one day will be the time i am reborn...lock me up no more....but learn and do it better this time..

keep improving , my motto

happy chinese new year

2009-01-23T14:23:00.000+08:00

hi yo all..
i am gng back to chinese new year on 24 jan noon
stayed home today so sian.. forcing myself to go out later without company i guess..

before i make m y way to smelll hometown and stress over there..

most likely 1 feb be back.. early return will be posted on msn..

kind of worried for myself.. the things required, i chose to do none..

anyway... may it cross me and get one soon..

bailamos is nice.. seen some frds ard.. support frds.. but well apart from that, i feel detached lol..
never social with anyone... i chose to not to... if my skill are better .. damn it.. maybe i consider less and go social.. never stayed for club in the end.. dun wanna spend to take cab home when i am not with them.. dun even know they stayed.. i guess, i dun belong to their group anymore..

life goes on.. i wish i have a personal tutor to teach salsa and a practice partner i like to dance with to enhance the move..

but inconsistent me is going to learn more thing.. being a typical jack of all trade master of none..

adios ....

bailamos

2009-01-22T16:46:00.001+08:00

am going to bailamos at zouk soon.. i wonder whats up for me...dunno wanna stay and shun bian club or not..seee how...

very long nv club.. but also good.. club without others recognising your existence is indeed a waste.. now i realise why some people rather be bored at home then to go out with people they do not enjoy..

i am minimising my social right now.. down to the extend that should i think i am not in sync with them , i shall not do anything to even try.. you seen my aggressive type of behaviour, which was forced out by myself, now you shall see the usual me... this is the real me...wait for things to happen... maybe i try a little bit.. but thats the max i will do..

end of the day, just wish to live my life without regrets..

this is a confession...

2009-01-19T19:50:00.000+08:00

not your normal love confession but self upgrading confession.. lol..

somehow i think.. all i need is a company to trigger my potential to max..be it study, working, self enhancing... i push myself more when challenged and doing things together..

my short term plan.. read up textbook module by module... lesser concentration on completing fortune as compared to my studies for a better cert, improve on things that people look down on me for..

i must help myself.. why i blog? make it known.. so there is no backing out already...

money wise, not going to care till holiday comes to use the sch time to learn whatever i feel like learning.. so long its a reading thing or sports thing..hip hop next... buck up salsa... better interaction with people for socialising skills..
whatever and anything...

be less lazy and try to organise things... maybe for uni frds now.. cannot keep letting people organise... must take some initiative.. and of cos, while outside must improve on those i am dim witted about that makes people think how come i like that lol..

money... once i have enough to sustain i will organise... right now, just got to keep saving and use minimum till near holiday then i can loosen my restriction on it and spend for good cause.. not on dressing anymore.. i guess i had enough since i spent last sem for it..must know how to be satisfied..

till here first..

to my best frds..

2009-01-19T14:57:00.001+08:00

yo you know what.. i FINALLY saw catherine at our school... yes... she is finally spotted...

anyway i took pic with her.. ages since we took one.. knowing each other for so long yet seldom have the time to meet up with this busy queen bee of ours..

perfume spray is something she sold and i conveniently bought one... why? cos i have no perfume.. lol..and support our best frds organization people is something i will consider less ... thanks to my daily saving habit<--some says 吝啬。。i am able to spend once on it.. wait till i have money damn it lol..

people who dun mind me daily, will always have the best from me in the end... i assure..

as for those who demand this and that and judge me from surface, i'm sorry i will just try to project as bad as you think i am...cos i will never show you my good...

everything i do takes time... my giving also takes time.. as long as years as you can see...

well lets wish everyone will be happy in their own world... love interest and friends...

life

2009-01-18T17:40:00.000+08:00

in my life i am always forced to prove things..

this time round.. i gotta prove i am good... other people and me are all just the same and i am not as bad as you think i am..

time changes a lot of things... it do and will and it allready did..just a matter of choices and decision and pity...

take it as a stage of enhancing to be a all rounder in all aspect.. i just merely lack experience in this area to make things so cock up..

being an all rounder is not easy after all..jack of all trades... with determination and consistentcy in improving it, will become to achieve near master of all someday..or even if not master fully, at least became and expperienced person in all aspects and able to handle anything that comes..

COME WHAT MAY!!!! this is my resolution this year.. not going to set any else... none is achievable without a will.. i have no will to achieve one particular as i know i like to improve and achieve bit here and there, so long every year i am learning and getting better than the year before will do...

so JUST BRING IT!!!! no one will fail forever...

nth much

2009-01-18T15:31:00.000+08:00

saturday just schooling, sing ktv with uni frds .. thought of calling more but i gave up again as i too last minute thought of calling people..
well bugis topone s the place..
sang for long long hours till evening went shaw and sibway till i got a sms.. and went to dhoby ghaut for coffee... :)
tired out one full day... today family day.. all are back.. sleep and family things all the way..

i wonder whats up next for me in my life.. :)

more good things please.. (praying)

.......end of episode 1 ......... [WTH!!!!??]

??

2009-01-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

somethings happening ard me???
somehow, i just dun understand..

what is going on???

is it a good thing or bad thing??

is there anything i fail to get although it might be alr very obvious?

lastly... am i thinking too much again??

haa.. i dunno..

learn from the past, i just leave this thoughts untouched and unsolved..

dun wanna think too much..

not going to do anything..

wait for answer bah..

found this page.. no idea if its true.. post for own review in future lol..

2009-01-12T20:04:00.001+08:00

Seduction of the Scorpio Man

As a fixed water sign, Scorpio is very determined. He has quite some courage and inner strength. Jealousy is part of him.

Seduce Scorpio by being sexy and seductive. However, don't forget that Scorpio is a water sign, sensitive and sentimental that is. So, be subtle. And be patient. Scorpios may be quite hesitant when it comes to affairs of the heart. But be patient AND confident.

His physical desires are insatiable. If you want to seduce Scorpio you will have to surrender...

look what we have here...

2009-01-11T12:41:00.000+08:00

i am reluctant to post out some thus

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the above are emo wordings..

i like chi bi... missed out 20 min though.. not my fault..but its ok..
the brilliant plot and plans nv fails to excites me.. tactic.. knowledge rules over brute force YEAH!!!!! i love this war tactical chinese show yeah!!!!! besides comical one...

people will surely say why got such good "opportunity" dun want to make use of it...
they dun understand.. its not simple.. haa... i guess, people got bf liao... as they said, time never waits...so i am gng to be scolded stupid for a period of time already haa.. what to do.. i am simply dim witted..I AM ALWAYS LIKE THAT..
got to accept.. ha..

fuk up persistent and no action personality..

lets change the motion..

i realise i have nothing to blog liao... -_-""

lets end with a joke..

an Onion a day keeps the sprits away...
an Apple a day keeps the doctor away..
a Mango a day??

keeps your pocket money away..

(isn't it, who says i am talking abt fruits here.. think harder if you are not on the right track..keke..)

08012009

2009-01-08T20:34:00.000+08:00

howdy...... i bless you with warm and comfort day all week ....

yup today i am here... at my blog... doing what? updating of cos.... you smarty might alr know this

as at today, fourth day of school i am totally exhausted...

exhaustion comes with something else..... the need to seek fun..

yup i am damn bored.. but what to do... i found my ways to kill it eventually..

not interesting to say though .. shall move on..

chi bi the second episode is coming OUT!!! finally.. been wanting to watch it.. but it seems this time round, i have no company.. they are busy... sigh..

guess i have only my book to turn to... maybe it is a time for me to enhance my knowledge.. but grrrrr.............................................................. i need motivation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dampen way too much by thing happening ard ........

mum is gonna be away... this time round i am alone at home again.... i have all the time i want and peace to do studying and reading and whatever i want....

but......... hehe if you know what it means :P

i wonder if there will be anything up this weekend...

now i have no more cca... completed salsa.. can pursue for more cos only intermediate level...

damn boring shit... gonna consider joining one cca soon...

i got piano, guitar, hip hop so far on my want to learn list...for fun maybe singing, for some free ktv session or lobang lol...

language includes malay, japanese... still persist.. still learning bit by bit.... my brain and concentration level is not that good to not exhaust my time and learn it all in a short time... too bad..

motivation level aside too that is lol...

1 1/2 yrs... left... i have to do what i feel like to do... cos i can picture what my life after schooling life is...

with working only full time, it be work, off, work off... tired, home, tv,sleep...

with gng back to help my dad, its even worse......

learn malay, learn legal documents and procedures, drive, manage cars and petrol, budget, rest day also equal to working days, socialise ard, coffee, smile, handle tough customer,learn machines and its uses and specification, all sub business handling eventually as times goes by i guess, handle fraud and cheat, handle fake faces all around, worst of all.. handle my dad temper lol...in short... i have to be what people call "wen wu shuang quan" and its tiring....

but i dunno what will my dad put me specifically in charge of just as yet.. but eventually, if none of my bro gonna take up, he willl have me to in charge and help out only loh.. . that is if i were to go back help out and if i am good enough first.... keke... not sure if i really need to go back or not just as yet..or rather, want to or not lol... still choosing..

what i got to do now... is keep improving myself, try out things for an experience in future to prepare myself for the future...

did and tested, some things just wouldn't work out...tried and gave up, some things just couldn't change....

i gonna suffer in future... thats the prediction as per current performance.....

as worried as i can get, i cant help it but to maximise my time as a student to seek fun while i can..... making my parents worried about my maturity that is lol....

shhsh.......

lol..

alright... be gone... shoosh...... do some reading bah. .. bb

new year 2009 commenced.....2nd day

2009-01-02T11:17:00.000+08:00

hi hi.. i am late it seems but anyway.... new year, new beginning, new........ everything looks new since its alr new year....

so how have you been last year?

what do you want to do this year??

any regret that you cannot complete anything last year and want to do it this year???

its time... ox year will give you an ox boost strength to do whatever you like... go ahead... muackz.. <--hehe just trying too be funny :P

lets do a recap.....

start the year with many storms.... end the year with peace.... frdship in and out..
some stays.... luckily, some, just distant...

nv wish to distant anyone but well one cant do all.... pple do get a bit lazy to meet pple at times..

worst spending for the year, fun is a lot but money coming in suffered...

sad to say, i never accomplish some thing well enough... still gng to be my resolution this year..

lack of fuel to carry it all out la.... simply lazy to budge can? lol i think i should make kicking the lazy bug one of my resolution this year.. i can really do alot if i am not lazy really...

i've completed my salsa ..... can now try hip hop heh... but then got time must perfect and rmb the move else it be a waste to learn salsa liao...

well its now 2009!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rejoice.......!!!!!!!!!

whats is ahead of me?

what new frds or strengthning of bonding to known frds will be there for me?

what will my results be... ?

what new theory in life will i experienced and understands?

how much challenges i must face again in this year?

am i able to do what i really want and perfect it?

and most impt of all...

will i drop my lazy bug and really do what i intended and thought of doing all along?

will i (unspoken hidden resolutions)

hehe....

cant say everything out later like bdae wish , dun come true... so i kept some. or at least can accomplish one is enough since all are impt..

HAVE A GREAT YEAR AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!

WABAFAT!!!!!<--from pokemon lol

christmas

2008-12-24T11:40:00.000+08:00

christmas is here.....

pple all ard going for frds hse, clubbing, orchard rd and such for celebration and countdown..
some calling date out for some romantic thingy whereas some just wanna spend the time home with families..

i am wondering where they all are gng to... anyway.. for me, i am not home.. :P not dating either...not clubbing probably,not orchard rd,not frds hse ,yes to......spot me if you can....

ah boh ask me loh wakakaa..

christmas exchange is a ex thing to do.. sigh.. been spending non stop.. guilty that i spend so much without earning...

so where will you celebrate today??

happy

2008-12-17T01:47:00.000+08:00

i am so happy that i saw my classmates again haa..

but well i didn't managed to talk to all and have not wave or show friendly gesture to some.. merely look at...lol.. sorry dude...

so long you all know i am willing to add you in facebook and msn means that i am willing to treat you as frds... so frds... hi congrats on the advancing... see you in sch :)

the cert is indeed big.. god damn i brought bag yet cant use....

jasmine is top student.. hehe i am so proud of her.. cos... we same birthday haaa... anyway.. i better be good somewhere also then i can proudly say... people born on this day is good breed lol.. though may lose to many others in terms of something else haa.... so which is day and month is the best breeed? let you all ownself fill in the answer..

i wonder how she study and answer the qns.... i wonder how is it like studying with her group.. cos their grp of people all did quite good i guess...

some didn't turn up.. i wonder if its work... dunno if anyone didn't make it or not.. its rather sad to see people you once with is not ard alr... we are classmates after all.. so long there are no heart grudges, its not nice to see them not ard..

everyone look good today...got so many new faces from direct intake..... somehow, i am kind of nervous of next sem...seems like a new beginning hehe

gambate..... hope to maintain gpa 3 and above so got chance for some good thing... but welll i doubt i can do it but ...keep trying jia yao... :)

well impt events or enjoyable days coming soon before sch starts.. frds birthday, christmas, new year etc..... wish everyone have a wonderful time...

aarrrgghhhhzzzzz!!!!fuk damn it

2008-12-08T02:44:00.000+08:00

chee bye ....hong kan.. damn it.. fuking shit..

frustrated... why i am always not good.. ahhhrrrhrhhhhh fuk...

why cant i be good at at least one thing....

everything is fuking hell lousy... sch work, social skill, talking, even salsa.. basketball..running.. whatever and anything..

firm not firm enough, strict noot strict enough, high pride, yet dun achieve enough... arrrgghhzz.... geeezzzz... #@$#@$@!$@

i really gave up.... i tried very hard on myself.... i tried to be sociable yet it arises words... i tried to score well yet it is always damn lousy... i tried to talk to people yet i am always not good at it... i tried to amend whatever fault and failure yet i always am not able to perfect it...

i cant tell you how frustrated at myself i am... yet i kept on trying.... from now on, i guess i am almost giving up yet my inborn nv say die spirit is pushing me ...but i am not achieving still... 24 years alr...

i am trapped in the middle, in whatever i do.... man not man enough.... half fuk always.. lack of confidence...sissy in short.... damn it...

what shall i do........!!!!!!?????????

i merely need to learn to be beaten by fate?????

i guess.... i am still better off being alone.. live in my own whole .....forever.... why so troublesome need to face all those people words, like how you behave or not or whether how good or bad you dress to occasion??? damn it.... fuk it..... human are never satisfied....

why need to compete... no need.... dun have to fight for whatever you need.. just fail loh... work so hard for disappointment in future for what.

full of disappointing shit in my life.... wanna achieve things sure made rival in no time.... why fight for it.. why cherish it.. fuk care..... why you still wanting to try..... learn and no good just dun care lah...

aarrrrgghhhzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuking damn shit.... who in this whole can understand my frustration? who in this whole knows how sad i am inside and how hard i kept trying to do things.. what you all know about me?? misunderstanding, untrue gossipping.... in short know shit about me.....

who in the whole knows i am actually fuking shy guy.... cares fuking lot for family in silence.... wish to suffer alone than making others unhappy becos of yourself..... trying fuking hard to really treat frds all the same and keep them in my life.... finding someone who really understands me....

whoever is really interested in knowing who i really am?

none.. alll are superficial... judge you by what you seemed to them.... why i spent so much.. for what... damn it...... i been gng out yet i dun feel happy abt it... why? am i trying too hard for frdship that just dun work out..... why i even bother to think of trying to maintain it ....why am i always the person trying when others are not wanting to do anything abt it... why am i so stupid trying to aintain the impossible?

fuk me.. damn me.. what to do ...... arrrgghhhzzzz....

but rest assure.. i will still try to smile..... no one cares about my sadness anyway... who cares... i am just a plain passerby in their life....

have nth for them to use anyway.. good in nth... go away...... doubt i get a gf... dun want to make life miserable for her due to my weakness.... and its not one.. but many...

go away.. dun talk to me when i dun talk to you.. no problem..... just tell me you dun want to be my frd.... why must i face your fakeness if you dun want to be my frd ....

aiya fuk off la.. its ok... we can be stranger its alrite.... i'm weird, bad in everyway... one to be hated... so just fuk off my life....

fuk off!!!!!!

answers

2008-12-07T13:04:00.000+08:00

in a very fast and efficient pace, i solve my queries.. phone call by hehe.. ya la you know la.. someone uses uncle phone to call i guess... so haa... nice one.. clap clap.. (not elaborating)

ben and jerry chunk festival party is not free.. i repeat NOT FREE lol.. but well the new flavour taste is okay not bad.. people i went out with, well in the end, they are nice people nv ask or said anything abt religion.. appreciated..

orchard is rather happening.. free candy floss and popcorn.. here comes my saving plan.. thats my dinner lol.. with 100 plus... not healthy way of settling dinner but, certainly is a money saving plan lol

oh ya saw some frds, jermaine.... and frds thinking of which, its like almost the third time we spooted each other, i guess she saw me more times, then Low kay hwa our one and only writer that we called dao ming si had a little chat with him.., and hilda.. hilda did not see me neither did i call her so lol i wonder if she remembers me..

still thinking how to wear today.. shanghai rouge got to wear oldies.. shanghai wear.. i guess, i shall follow minority and wear formal lol..

updates yet again..

2008-12-06T04:26:00.000+08:00

should any of you wonders what i have been doing i can sum up with one word.. slacking..

anyway.. i went to frds relative wake today... went bedok.. wow... went to tasted some not bad hawker food... well who says you need to spend ex to get good food.. i appreciate hawker food more sometimes.. cheap and good haa..

was wondering who miss call me.... kept me thinking... but rest assure.. i am not gng to post it up.. privacy lol...was hoping its that someone whom i wanted..but anyway..

i am gng to ben and jerry tmr with some new frds... i hope there is no preaching... as they are christian.. lol.. i hate preaching as i have my own belief alr and yet still have to face their qns and answer till they satisfied..hope that this group of frds will understand and not be a typical christian that i had experienced before..

sunday am gng to shanghai rouge yuppy.. salsa.... party night... wow.. i am still puzzled where is victoria theatre... hope i can find it..

well nth much..

ps: people been keeping me confuse by a way or another...

for a reason, i have never really give up... just unsure what to do that is good enough to improve the situation ...

hope i am not irritating.. but rest assure ....all will be kept in the air of silence... nth will be done.. till there is confirmation by the key holder..

:)

2008-11-29T00:50:00.000+08:00

i feel happy inside....
for long it seems i had not had time for myself...
actually the slacking is not bad...

i enjoyed my time nevertheless....
maybe its the long break and leaving those need to maintain, look out and watch it stress from those newly found classmate that makes me now feeling what a blissful state i can be in now..

i dunno...just simply so stress free....
i still enjoy my simple life... moneyless but still hehe.. dunno happy thats all..
soon celebrating my mum birthday.... with so many relative coming.. hehe.. hope it be a wonderful time..

sunday is the only time i may need to worry.... cos i be gng out with uni classmates.. generation where every action counts.. bless me... cos there are always people whom i not sure if will have prejudice against me or not...

anyway.... i will be skipping bball for mum today.. family gathering..

mon gonna spend sunday also... sigh... actually, i would love to have low budget outing.... but well mon is bdae celebration so bo bian.. sun, actually is very hesistant as its roller blade.. costly to me for an outing...if dun go, dunno what people will likely say.. sighz... people now say i too sensitive... but then, given the kind of pressure i am in with these kind of people who may misunderstand me anytime, what you expect me to behave.. if things still dun work out as fine, i will reallyy ignore and dun care..... leave the circle totally.... dun say club, not even makan.... if thing s really have its way to made me feeel the striving is pointless apart from what effort i put in .....

of cos i will feel like not giving up, but if things really have to be that way, i got to let it be....

bad remark always has its way to say abt people, no matter who you are....even one kind man good act can be said as got other meaning when its universal known its out of kindness... thats how bad society can be at times ....you will understand in future....

well i cant pin point to any cos it might arise anger among anyone in the world thus, please forgive me if my wording offended any.. i'm sorry..

actually, people might be wondering why i need to be so call overly cautious and sensitive.... i have only one answer.... you have not met people that make you understand how to be more sensitive and careful in your wordings in this society.. when things do not happen to people, they cannot imagine how one phrase of wording from a blog can bring trouble.. might even infringe govt policy who knows.... read more news... understand the world more on how somethings that look absurb to you actually did happened to people...

life... is always so unpredictable... recall how disaster happened to us way before.. who would have thought they will happen? but in the end it did happen...

even lightning strike a tree and collapse killing people those incident also have...
lighting too choon or that person suay? no.. its merely how life is so unpredictable...so people will always see and say "it will not happen to me.." who would have thought the person who got hit by the treee will think it will happen to him or her?
think again... are you really taking things for granted? not to be overly cautious is true but, have you taken the neccessary step to prevent? or at least minimise? when it is possible to do so...

food for thought..
up to individual to think abt it and give an answer to themselves...

my thoughts

2008-11-27T13:15:00.000+08:00

i had once thought of aLL these.....

when you cough , slip some cough syrup or at least sweet into your bag or place at your desk.. (found no chance and ate it away)

fold a star from somewhere with your first letter of your name and my name, and put it into your bag.. (in the end i throw it away)

give you encourgement before exam face to face when you are wearing white dress.. (will be quite weird if i stop and cheer you only since diff room thus i walk pass)

and some others...

anyway... think it doesn't matter anymore.... that was all the past...

now... am just going to make frds ard... am not gng to think abt it... maybe.. remaining single till i have made myself way better for people to accept me first in anyway... cant find people who accept me as who i am so i gonna change...

if you were to give me a choice, i rather things to be simple and carefree.... no need care image, want to wear what just wear, want to say what just say so long not offending...happy can alr...

i spent so much alr... just for these... and you know?? i initially wanted to save up for a car in msia so i go back can drive..i heard a ok second hand cheap car need ard $10,000...of cos its now in sing, convert it to ringgit.. i was at $3400 alr... well now its negative.. plus no job..kinda sad.. for the current big small matters, i have to spend.. used it on socialising... but somehow, i feel, i wasted the money... hope something can help me not to regret what i did..with the loads and lousy concentration and speed in picking up schoolwork, i cant work in sch days else main target for grade in sch work sure suffer.. am not working yet did not as good alr..

am trying to pick up reading so when sch starts i can regularly revise schwork as i have the habit now..what to do.. no work so must find things to do... i now plan for myself you see... i have yet to touch malay language.... i read the book "know can do" it says abt focus.. true indeed.. i lacking in it..cant do things well... when i really find my focus, i can really do better..thus, bit by bit, step by step bah....

r/s i guess, sigh, i have no clue what to do abt it.... leaving it aside first..until someone whack me awake and get me do something abt it.. haa think gonna let people ard me worried abt my future alr.. no choice.. no skill, no criteria, no nth........ at least thats what i think of myself.. quite inferior and negative thinking..

alrite.. sat chinese garden nearby jurong east swimming complex with relative at evening for swim, sun east coast i guess for roller blading with shawn and gf,zam and richie.....mon tiong bahru clinque li shi bdae celebration.....only this weekend busy .... 7 dec shanghai rouge.. am gonna to be oldies wear lol shanghai theme i dun have, just gonna wear any cloth nearest to oldies hehe.. can comb back side parking alr haaa.. keke

maybe.. just maybe... go club when frd come back to ZIRCA ... wait he free... and rest of unforeseen outing will depends.. since now FINALLLY my all best frds will be out of exam and free for outing soon....... and whether their assignment for holidays got any to do or what.. just dunno working personnel free or not..

wondering when is poly meeting up

wondering which day of dec is YEP, youth expedition project meeting up... vietnam volunteers and sp people ... hope to see you all soon..

well christmas and new year eve dunno got go club or not.. then sch reopen soon... 3 more sem and we willl be graduated should everything go smoothly...

life in uni is not as exciting as i think it can be..... still i think my bro is happier.. cos, to be exciting, need lotsa close frd in that uni and been meeting up.. i dun think i have any.. kinda bored... i guess no money bah and hae commitment..well who ask me not to have any commitment..in terms of job or whatever...... partly, i no money la.... lol sigh shit la.. lol....

ok bb getting longwinded...

2008-11-18T02:40:00.000+08:00

i know i should be working, i know i should be slping.. but no doubt i cant....

maybe should write what i did.....

sat st james, before that ktv.... ktv is rather simple but happy event since i am with my best frd.. marina square again.. our favourite hangout....

then, i wore their shirt to st james.... kept one in pouch... initially wanted to wear others but also kept in bag cos their shirt is nicer ha..

then.. to st james.... i dunno what to say abt it.... i bet there are potential misunderstanding.... first i know others open bottlee... but later on, you see me holding cup does not means i insist on drinking... i bet people must be thinking i fuking wanted to drink so much despite umpteeen reminder that not to as he pai sei its his frd open bottle...

i was actually, offered.. and reason why i hold it for so long would really means i am trying to shake off in a way or another.. but i guess, he also dun like me.. just entertaining... i bet many dun like me .. some might not even turn up due to that....i wouldn't say totally its the reason, but probably partial..

fine experience.. i 'll improve.... in future not really any thing can beat me down easily anymore after this.. but no doubt, i rather things to be smooth lol... i am still lazy at heart to face things and accept changes to normal safe routine....

i bet, my initial motive during start of uni to try out disobeying my own conscious to try things out for unknown result and experience prove to be a pain in the neck... who says you can achieve success when you step out of your comfort zone?? crap... appropriate is also a main component in success... stepping out inappropriately will only make you fall greater than you think you will.... timing is also another crucial factor ...... whoever that do not encalcate all these in equal standing is not as successful and right in their theory in my comment..... please do not speak of the skin for people to easily understand yet nv telll them the way to do it for people who are not as lucky to fall greatly... anything is like share market.... stepping out of comfort zone to invest also need appropriate level of money that can help you endure hardship to certain extend and timing have to be right..... luck is needed too...... and everythig, has its stages to go through before certain things can be done...

thus..... well...... i learnt a lot... not enough for the world.. at least i have yet to figure out the fakeness, the reaction, the backstabber, and the way to do things to tackle it all....

gonna prepare myself... at least mentally for the world... firm is something i always nv do correctly and appropriately when needed...

anyway... went eat at cine on mon... cake and present... so nice....

i bet.... certain frdship once broken will not come back again..... its true what done leaving a blackmark cannot be undone... goodness in the start will accumulate more goodness and black dot in the beginning will only lead to more negative thinking in whatever thing you do regardless of how hard you try....thats partially how a human mind works... thus con man are able to succeed in cheating people when others are cheated by their goodness in the beginning...

thus, i urge all people... really understand you frd to core and not let misunderstanding to bring about breaking of ties in future.... trust is one very crucial thing no matter relationship or frdship...

everything, although different in their own aspects, stick to the big understanding and trust part. impression, plays a great part in your day to day people encounter that determine the stairway to good or bad things in future...

forgive and forget......

however good in understanding, do require practice in reality.. theory can get 100% but without practice, it is useless....

come on... do it..... good luck.... :)

life.....

2008-11-16T23:01:00.000+08:00

why do people grow up to find themselves facing lonliness...
imagine the times way back where families are ard.. home is nice.. till primary, whatever thing is nice to play and fun with frds ard playing police and theif or pepsi cola 1 2 3 stepping on each other to win or lose..till secondary, playing basketball, talk, chit chat, hang out, with cca that filled most of the time and playing games..... when all these are done too many times, it get bored. now advancing to poly where orientation and organising activities and hanging out. attention are no longer that concentrated when you dun have a fix class. grouping of friends started to be more obvious.

and soon, as time advances, everyone will be busy for one thing or another. bf, gf work marriage.

each one will be on their own soon and establish families.

from many to little.. is this what life is all about?

things get tougher when frds making gets tougher and tougher.people grow and starts from easily making frds to getting to mind if the person have motive.
people doubting each others. thanks to bad experience. life made difficult.

devil inside grows with influence. things needed to be fulfilled is accumulating and grows in urgency as one ages. eventually, haste came in and play a part in a bad way.

eventually, nth good happens.

living through it all, requires support. ties, and a lot more of things unexplainable.

or probably, appreciation, and knowing that one are remembered and cherish may just do the job.

till now there is no definite answer.

answer, lies in every individual.

search your heart............

2008-11-11T22:54:00.001+08:00

i wonder what willl happen on my birthday.. clubbing stuff aside, day time i doubt i can see my best frd nor clinque ard to celebrate my birthday..

doubt there willl be any surprise..

think, it will be a plain just another day thing..

i wonder how many remember my birthday and might want to celebrate if i call for an event to celebrate my birthday..

i am lacking energy to interact and try to maintain relationship with people... it is running out.. who can re-energize it?

sometimes i sincerely want to talk to the person but i am lacking the energy to express my interest externally making people feel i dun want to talk to them..nor quick enough to think of something to crap at the right moment..

genuine frds come to interact at times when i feel lacking of energy.. i feel so bad that i appear unfriendly ... how i wish i got energy level that will not die down and need others to brighten it up at times..

so sick and tired of the things ard me... need to handle so many thing, need to care abt so many things... why can life just be simple...

now.. finding a joob.. earn income....picking myself up from no energy to do stuff.... i have pproblem with myself haha...just simply no mood .....what a long PMS... is it an early geng nian qi? ok alrite crap lame..... nt funny.... no link...... but stilll ..... whatever...

ok enough of writing... these are feeling as of current... will it last or not depends...

2008-11-02T01:13:00.000+08:00

18禁不禁 18爱不爱（插曲） LYRICS

男：第18根蜡烛吹熄以后确定对你说爱上你微笑对着我
女：你是心中的第三个愿望不能说期待明天变成亲密朋友
男：关于爱的种种
女：才不怕
男：害怕弄巧成拙
女：哈啰不要想太多当时机成熟
合：光明正大手牵手
合：爱不爱都想要和你天天搅和
女：拍大头贴逛渔人码头
男：和梦
合：呵…蠢蠢欲动爱不爱心思特别多毫不保留
女：写满了爱的部落格
男：18岁
女：最适合
合：恋爱

翼势力&企鹅-18爱不爱

女：你是心中的第三个愿望不能说期待明天变成亲密朋友
男：关于爱的种种
女：猜不透
男：害怕弄巧成拙
女：哈啰不要想太多当时机成熟
合：光明正大手牵手
合：爱不爱都想要和你天天搅和
女：拍大头贴逛渔人码头
男：和梦
合：呵…蠢蠢欲动爱不爱心思特别多毫不保留
女：写满了爱的部落格
男：18岁
女：最适合
合：恋爱
翼势力&企鹅-18爱不爱
合：爱不爱都想要和你天天搅和
女：拍大头贴逛渔人码头
男：和梦
合：呵…蠢蠢欲动爱不爱心思特别多毫不保留
女：写满了爱的部落格
男：18岁
女：最适合
合：恋爱

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixlt3ctL7rM&feature=related -- ktv ver

2008-11-02T00:27:00.000+08:00

歌曲名小薰&阿本-甜甜圈
小薰&阿本 - 甜甜圈
专辑:18禁不禁影音全纪录
甜甜圈(片尾曲)
词曲：王雅君
演唱：小薰&阿本
小薰&阿本-甜甜圈(片尾曲)★
danfeng927制作

天天非常想你的甜点
飞过城市的边缘
降落爱你的终点
想念互道晚安的每一天
却又舍不得说再见
你的笑那么甜....
我的直觉就是那么坚决
不怕有暴风圈
因为你是我最晴朗的大晴天
爱要你牵我的手每一天
我要非常用心感觉
因为爱你才是我最后最美丽的句点
喜欢在你的肩膀盘旋
习惯两个人的世界
才让我的心永远像甜甜圈

牵你的手还是有点紧张
看你双眼怎么好好说话
这次真的下定决心
鼓起勇气拥抱你
让我们的爱
连成完美圈圈
曾经怀疑自己是否能保护你
是你让我看见世界美丽
是你带我走向温暖生命
因为有你我的天空放晴
紧握住你的手一起迎接未来
十八岁的蔚蓝环绕永远的爱
却又舍不得说再见(说再见)
是否能够继续
因为你能让我真正充满勇气
有你才可以真正面对自己(呵…)
一起面对未来
十八岁的蔚蓝
两人一起拥抱永远的爱

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-J0c1AxL6g ---- ktv version

in response to previous blog

2008-10-26T21:50:00.000+08:00

i realised its just another of my inadequate in improving myself that lead to all these... please improve..

maturity is more than what one can think of.... am slapped in the face by my own consciouness and realised the many parts i have to be better on.... shouldn't have gave myself a break and break free from trying to work on myself way back.. making me so complacent on myself and now is getting bad to worse it seems..

gasping for air... lol... for being in a family that demand you to be better than others even if those who taught you thing might not be able to attain perfection themselves, learning is certain.. but convincing yourself to listen and attain perfection is really difficult... but well... if you think of it in a good way, you're benefitting from it all isn't it..

well again.. talk is cheap.. whether i am able to attained everything from all those that were taught will only surface in future..

many things taught to me i refuse.. yes refuse to learn.. but a portion of it have to be used appropriately for sometimes its needed.. that.. i dunno what to do abt it..

first impression... it was talked abt slightly today.. i took a bit of times and think abt it.. very true.. i hated that i created a bad first impression... it is.. really, a lethal weapon indeed... i took my time and effort to create good first impression before and nth happens.. the only time i decide to give it a miss, i had sufferring that is way too much to handle... each person, every wording that my best friends, families and those who cares surfaced..... i hated i give way to laziness to maintain my image.. gave chance for people to talked abt me..... gave myself a chance to exposed to the unforeseen.... but there are some things that might need to continue till i find an answer to it... bear with it... hope its worthwhile in future.. for experience is invaluable...

aiya.. shall not say too much.. prove things with action first..

will refer back here for self reviewing....

damn thats too fast.. but i am pissed and happy all in the same day

2008-10-25T21:30:00.000+08:00

yeah.. like what the title says.. i had another roller coaster emotions running today..
morning started.. pissed.. cant slp properly....
then not enough slp..
went museum. tired out alr...
irritated by my own mum behaviour and in the end got scolded at spiting out how irritated i was by her complain... rated "ding zui"
who knows so happy found the place where fake people looks so real.. la xiang guan

then soon unhappinnes comes.. just becos i was too worn out..forgetfulness cum careless, my long time frds, came to look for me... cant rmb i was holding a book... left it at table..filming and photo taking.. no doubt was happy then but i left the book at the table.. cause myself unhappiness in the end.. got to take the responsibility of not rmb the book cos i was "last touched"

geez.... i think i slowly understand why i became so defensive at heart.... and why i became so scared of thing

peace for me.. heal the world

another low confidence article

2008-10-25T01:21:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder.. am i too 'dao'
yet many times i ask people say.. 'dun think too much'
yup.. if you talk to me enough or know me enough, you will realise i do ask and is super afraid i neglected people or made people angry or such and i tend to keep asking or apologise..

but at times, though they say dun think too much, i still tend to be afraid.. cos there are just friends ard who are not into telling people or want you to figure out yourself...

yes.... i am trying to secure any friendship i have...yet i cant cater to all.. what shall i do???

i seek answer yet till now i found none..

been long since i hang out with shawn, longer with mel, study only but not outing and if study is not included,even longer with my clinque nick they all...talk little with li qian they all.... bball with the guys iin our class nv go socer becos need money.. even longer..talk little with reimond casually merely schwork in msn which aiya.. i should go talk to him more again soon la..club with uni frd, not yet ever since sch start.. hope when the time comes i am able to hold my liquor and maintain my spending to minimum as usual..outing with best frds, hmm ok la still the most out of any though frequency also reduced..

so what have i been doing??? study la.... family things la.... self progressing la...which took up most of my time.. listening to people advice not to be too friendly la as they say i over friendly.. and of cos, to prepare myself to be a loner once again as, only being used to being alone will i be able to fight the sadness of not being accepted and leave any group in future..

you would not believe it, i sometimes went out alone haha... frd busy, last minute not free etc.. and also.. i disheartened to call people out as i always sms people and in the end is "i cannot cfm" "i cannot go" "i dun feel like gng" "---no reply---" end up i adjusted my timing for nothing and still go out alone...

anyway, i do not know how i am to people.. some may interact enough with me to find how i am, some, may self assumption and past experience to judge me without really knowing me, some, are just ok with it.. but well.. i shall say i am not flawless.... i really hope people understands my flaws and how i try to tackle it thus leading to the behaviour... but i guess, people will want me to change .. but sad to say, i am always defeated by my long time rival, my ultimate weakness... i keep urging people to know me better, yet they fail to see my hidden worries... well i leaving things to fate.. and this is why i keep trying to be a loner at heart, as i expect misunderstanding to cause me problems in future anyway... sighx.. wish me luck....

2008-10-17T12:24:00.000+08:00

i got a feeling i am emotionless now

like living dead

malfunction?

tired?

dunno..

lost for words as usual..

tons of crap if i release it

sometime its better not said then say it out

yet i feel i am too quiet

else i am too talkative

guess my control card spoilt..

cannot change

imma malfunction human being

oh oh....

spoken..... this is the mask... muhahhaa

for myself..by myself to myself...

2008-10-16T02:50:00.000+08:00

i must stop doing thing to let people misunderstands me
i must learn to use my brain more before doing things
i must switch my mentality to stop thinking too much
i must learn to act when time is appropriate
i must learn to not embarass people with my akwardness
i must care for others situation and not cause them to be in a hard position becos of me
i must learn to be a better person
i must not be moody
i must be able to control myself from going haywire
i must be a better friend.. if not, a worthy person in others eyes
i must drop the idea of getting gf..........it will come naturally when time comes, not by force
i must win over my evil thought that is controlling me unconsciously
i must let others feel glad to have me ard and do not mind and not want to miss me out for any outing
i must achieve the above 13 things..............it all start from myself.. help given but nth is of use without me really conquer over myself to get to be a better person.. not only at heart which i have now, but also when behaving... behaviour and heart dun tally...learn to be true to my self..
mosttly, get out of the low confidence level...negative thinking for some things and also overly positive thinking in the others..
STOP BEING CONTRADICTING

words are cheap... i must really do it to be able to realise it.. learn to talk appropriately and when needed, build behaviour....get out of the typical eagerness and learn to take thing slow and appropriately...if possible, learn the reaction of woman to be able to response correctly...i dun get woman annd their wants.. and what their reaction means..what to do is apropriate.. anyway...wtf i dun feel like to care.. yet i am curious to find an ans..see contradicting again fuk....

原来我不帅 OST

2008-10-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

林俊杰

期待你的爱

Mylife.....一直在等待　　

空荡的口袋想在里面放一份爱　　

Why总是被打败　　

真的好无奈～　　

其实我实实在在不管帅不帅　　

想要找回来自己的节拍　　

所以这一次我要勇敢大声说出来　　

期待期待你发现我的爱　　

无所不在我自然而然的关怀　　

你的存在心灵感应的方向我一眼就看出来　　

是因为爱

我猜你早已发现我的爱　　

绕几个弯靠越近越明白　　

不要走开　　

幸福的开始就是放手去爱

2008-09-09T11:19:00.000+08:00

歌曲名
远走高飞
李圣杰
爱你错了吗为什么会受到这么多惩罚?
他们说的话像针往心里扎
我心中的怕不知该怎么做才可以放下
只不过想好好的爱一次啊!!!
带我远走高飞不去理会
这一个蜚短流长的世界布满虚伪
是你让我选择沉醉繁星守侯月不能睡
只因为爱上了夜的黑
带我远走高飞一起去追
有一个叫做幸福的世界没有泪水
我已经感觉到疲累只想在你怀抱入睡
不在乎别人眼中是非
重新再出发能不能让这天地不再吵杂
我的心里面安静得不像话
故事的真假没有多余的力气去分辨他
只不过想好好的爱一次啊!!!

简简单单-林俊杰歌词

2008-08-27T20:18:00.000+08:00

我们都是泡沫轻轻一碰就破
眼泪是爱的火花
昨天就像飞机穿过我的窗口
我什么都没有
我摊开了双手
你予取予求直到你想自由
痛苦的时候我不会闪躲
就像树叶甘心为春风吹落
只是简简单单的爱过我还是我
简简单单的想过就不算白活
简简单单的疯过被梦带走
当故事结束之后心也喜欢一个人寂寞

status update

2008-08-12T01:20:00.000+08:00

home alone.

typical student.

no other commitments except schooling and salsa..

sms frds..and only frds.. not further..

call parents..

lamer..

go out with besties

other than that, lazy to call others out..

running with besties..

spend large amt of my time using brain thinking...many things..

character training and rebuilding from scrap..

learning to focus..

learning to talk..not crap

learning to overcome obstacles though not that successful yet.

fighting hard... from the life lesson i tried to learn before which prove negatively carried out..

figuring out something, someone, still learning....

figuring out the most effective learning style for my own..no idea yet

learn how to be brave at times i need..cos it always comes at wrong time..it looks..

be it, live it, revealing what i truly am..

fighting bad impression...

filtering fake frds from true frds..

some, just cant seem to talk to.. my own fault..

leaving things to natural cause.. pray hard we can talk and reallly know each otehr better..

wish life to be better..

as she said, hope for better tmr...

2008-07-28T21:35:00.001+08:00

hi
this is a blog for any words i might want to say
may be things for me to rmb also
quotes if i feel like writing
absolutely anything non pesonal..

i will add a tagboard

good life...good days..
have a wonderful days ahead..

enjoy reaDING..