christmas

christmas is here.....

pple all ard going for frds hse, clubbing, orchard rd and such for celebration and countdown..
some calling date out for some romantic thingy whereas some just wanna spend the time home with families..

i am wondering where they all are gng to... anyway.. for me, i am not home.. :P not dating either...not clubbing probably,not orchard rd,not frds hse ,yes to......spot me if you can....

ah boh ask me loh wakakaa..

christmas exchange is a ex thing to do.. sigh.. been spending non stop.. guilty that i spend so much without earning...

so where will you celebrate today??

happy

i am so happy that i saw my classmates again haa..

but well i didn't managed to talk to all and have not wave or show friendly gesture to some.. merely look at...lol.. sorry dude...

so long you all know i am willing to add you in facebook and msn means that i am willing to treat you as frds... so frds... hi congrats on the advancing... see you in sch :)

the cert is indeed big.. god damn i brought bag yet cant use....

jasmine is top student.. hehe i am so proud of her.. cos... we same birthday haaa... anyway.. i better be good somewhere also then i can proudly say... people born on this day is good breed lol.. though may lose to many others in terms of something else haa.... so which is day and month is the best breeed? let you all ownself fill in the answer..

i wonder how she study and answer the qns.... i wonder how is it like studying with her group.. cos their grp of people all did quite good i guess...

some didn't turn up.. i wonder if its work... dunno if anyone didn't make it or not.. its rather sad to see people you once with is not ard alr... we are classmates after all.. so long there are no heart grudges, its not nice to see them not ard..

everyone look good today...got so many new faces from direct intake..... somehow, i am kind of nervous of next sem...seems like a new beginning hehe

gambate..... hope to maintain gpa 3 and above so got chance for some good thing... but welll i doubt i can do it but ...keep trying jia yao... :)

well impt events or enjoyable days coming soon before sch starts.. frds birthday, christmas, new year etc..... wish everyone have a wonderful time...

aarrrgghhhhzzzzz!!!!fuk damn it

chee bye ....hong kan.. damn it.. fuking shit..

frustrated... why i am always not good.. ahhhrrrhrhhhhh fuk...

why cant i be good at at least one thing....

everything is fuking hell lousy... sch work, social skill, talking, even salsa.. basketball..running.. whatever and anything..

firm not firm enough, strict noot strict enough, high pride, yet dun achieve enough... arrrgghhzz.... geeezzzz... #@$#@$@!$@


i really gave up.... i tried very hard on myself.... i tried to be sociable yet it arises words... i tried to score well yet it is always damn lousy... i tried to talk to people yet i am always not good at it... i tried to amend whatever fault and failure yet i always am not able to perfect it...

i cant tell you how frustrated at myself i am... yet i kept on trying.... from now on, i guess i am almost giving up yet my inborn nv say die spirit is pushing me ...but i am not achieving still... 24 years alr...

i am trapped in the middle, in whatever i do.... man not man enough.... half fuk always.. lack of confidence...sissy in short.... damn it...

what shall i do........!!!!!!?????????

i merely need to learn to be beaten by fate?????

i guess.... i am still better off being alone.. live in my own whole .....forever.... why so troublesome need to face all those people words, like how you behave or not or whether how good or bad you dress to occasion??? damn it.... fuk it..... human are never satisfied....

why need to compete... no need.... dun have to fight for whatever you need.. just fail loh... work so hard for disappointment in future for what.

full of disappointing shit in my life.... wanna achieve things sure made rival in no time.... why fight for it.. why cherish it.. fuk care..... why you still wanting to try..... learn and no good just dun care lah...

aarrrrgghhhzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuking damn shit.... who in this whole can understand my frustration? who in this whole knows how sad i am inside and how hard i kept trying to do things.. what you all know about me?? misunderstanding, untrue gossipping.... in short know shit about me.....

who in the whole knows i am actually fuking shy guy.... cares fuking lot for family in silence.... wish to suffer alone than making others unhappy becos of yourself..... trying fuking hard to really treat frds all the same and keep them in my life.... finding someone who really understands me....

whoever is really interested in knowing who i really am?

none.. alll are superficial... judge you by what you seemed to them.... why i spent so much.. for what... damn it...... i been gng out yet i dun feel happy abt it... why? am i trying too hard for frdship that just dun work out..... why i even bother to think of trying to maintain it ....why am i always the person trying when others are not wanting to do anything abt it... why am i so stupid trying to aintain the impossible?

fuk me.. damn me.. what to do ...... arrrgghhhzzzz....

but rest assure.. i will still try to smile..... no one cares about my sadness anyway... who cares... i am just a plain passerby in their life....

have nth for them to use anyway.. good in nth... go away...... doubt i get a gf... dun want to make life miserable for her due to my weakness.... and its not one.. but many...

go away.. dun talk to me when i dun talk to you.. no problem..... just tell me you dun want to be my frd.... why must i face your fakeness if you dun want to be my frd ....

aiya fuk off la.. its ok... we can be stranger its alrite.... i'm weird, bad in everyway... one to be hated... so just fuk off my life....

fuk off!!!!!!

answers

in a very fast and efficient pace, i solve my queries.. phone call by hehe.. ya la you know la.. someone uses uncle phone to call i guess... so haa... nice one.. clap clap.. (not elaborating)

ben and jerry chunk festival party is not free.. i repeat NOT FREE lol.. but well the new flavour taste is okay not bad.. people i went out with, well in the end, they are nice people nv ask or said anything abt religion.. appreciated..

orchard is rather happening.. free candy floss and popcorn.. here comes my saving plan.. thats my dinner lol.. with 100 plus... not healthy way of settling dinner but, certainly is a money saving plan lol

oh ya saw some frds, jermaine.... and frds thinking of which, its like almost the third time we spooted each other, i guess she saw me more times, then Low kay hwa our one and only writer that we called dao ming si had a little chat with him.., and hilda.. hilda did not see me neither did i call her so lol i wonder if she remembers me..


still thinking how to wear today.. shanghai rouge got to wear oldies.. shanghai wear.. i guess, i shall follow minority and wear formal lol..

updates yet again..

should any of you wonders what i have been doing i can sum up with one word.. slacking..

anyway.. i went to frds relative wake today... went bedok.. wow... went to tasted some not bad hawker food... well who says you need to spend ex to get good food.. i appreciate hawker food more sometimes.. cheap and good haa..

was wondering who miss call me.... kept me thinking... but rest assure.. i am not gng to post it up.. privacy lol...was hoping its that someone whom i wanted..but anyway..

i am gng to ben and jerry tmr with some new frds... i hope there is no preaching... as they are christian.. lol.. i hate preaching as i have my own belief alr and yet still have to face their qns and answer till they satisfied..hope that this group of frds will understand and not be a typical christian that i had experienced before..

sunday am gng to shanghai rouge yuppy.. salsa.... party night... wow.. i am still puzzled where is victoria theatre... hope i can find it..

well nth much..

ps: people been keeping me confuse by a way or another...

for a reason, i have never really give up... just unsure what to do that is good enough to improve the situation ...

hope i am not irritating.. but rest assure ....all will be kept in the air of silence... nth will be done.. till there is confirmation by the key holder..