will anyone know why i am relectant to get a gf? wil anyponeknow why i am so defensive? will anyone knows why i lost my confidence although i have a brave heart? will anyone knows why i lost my attitude to strive? will anyone knows why i love to go out althopugh i desire to be a homely person? alll these, is i do not have a cosy home with members good enough to let me be what i am suppose to be. i stray from what i am suppose to be.

memories

after watching the show "you are an apple in my eyes"
brings back memories.

i thought of Wenqin, thats my first flash. then after i thought of my sec sch crush ziping.

but if say everyone aside and there is a chance to really understand each other, one to one, will it be any better?

well sometimes not knowing the answer may be good, yet it may be bad too. anyway, what past is past. god knows what the future brings, fate will then decide.

somehow, i do not know why, i really like those people yet the more i like, the tendency i do opposite like instead of getting close, i will avoid. instead of being good, i behave badly lost control. least i understand myself more now.

not that i like to be single, i just couldn't find the one i really like yet. i am awaiting, not going to take anyone easily, and remain single till i found the one.

i have a feeling

i will never get attached and be in a relationship..

each time i think of it, there got to be a thing to stop me from thinking..

and i am afraid for unless the person i like and is also willing to hold me hard enough and understands me enough, there will got to be more trouble and unhappiness and simple little happiness and understanding is all i need...

but i have yet found the one....

and its really hard... the one you like, never like you..

the one you find suitable, willl always end up as others gf

or the one who likes you, is totally not suitable...

and worst of all, if i am uncertain about a thing and that person waits, we will never have any good happy ending..

after i realised it, i lost her..

and i have no slightest idea how i can do to make someone mine..

and i hate it.. why are things so difficult.. and my family complicated environment makes me even harder to do one thing..

closing

good bye...
alll the best...
not going to touch it anymore..
lost the reason that i used to blog for ..

no longer feel like updating things i do
no longer hope for anything ..
let it just die.. keeping the little nice feeling just a lil

and just a lil thing to clarify others..

yes i'm afraid of many things
yes i'm hesitating
yes i'm holding on
yes i'm undecisive of many things

yes i am way lousier than other guys out there..

i have no confidence in myself
i have problem finding topic not to even say funny jokes
i have greater problem opening my mouth to talk without people being friendly to me by throwing a friendly smile..

for now... i close this blog.. till i found the reason or motivation to blog again..

CLOSED!!!

wish

if there is a wish to be made, i wish to be with her... every moment every day..
but it is not possible..

looks like i could only just cross her life..

habit

lead me and allow me to get use to it and make it a routine.. or i never do it..

a routine that is unlike any other..

action?

i gave a thought about it..

i guess i nv put my words to action by self initiative.. for that.. nv will..

bless me... may i lose my cool and act rashly in the right timing one more time to get that thing settled.

dream

i dreamnt... of a long existing problem i had...
cat chong appeared again in my dream.. funny..

it was meant to see her playing and video down in the roller coaster and while it ended,.. i appeared and then i said wrong thing<---stupid problem i had always

got scolded by her frd though she dun mind..

and it ended like "i have so much to tell you but you got no time"

i blog the moment i woke up..

this is the second time i dream of her so unconsciously.. seriously whats up man.. mr brain ..

so weird

amazing

i happen to read a frd's blog, the person happen to find this and think its quite true , which i read now i think its pretty amazing so i posted...

below are part of the person blog ..

And according to The Whisper Cycle Guide: Learning To Talk Your Body’s Language, here are some things that happen to you during the 28-day menstrual cycle:

MENSTRUATION, DAYS 1-7 OF THE CYCLE

What happens?
During their period, women may experience chocolate cravings, can feel low in energy and experience higher levels of stress than normal and can have more sensitive skin. You may also be less prone to jealousy than usual and experience better spatial orientation skills.

Why does this happen?
Low levels of both oestrogen and progesterone.

What can I do?

• Don’t deny yourself a chocolate treat – when your body metabolises this choccy it can help increase levels of serotonin, the ‘happy hormone’
• Go to the gym – a good work-out can help combat tiresome stomach cramps and there’s nothing better than a bit of healthy exercise to boost low energy levels and reduce stress
• Impress him – while your jealousy levels are low encourage your man to go out on the town with his mates and…
• …get him to treat you to a soothing body massage in return, while your skin is extrasensitive!
• Don’t wax, as this could be even more painful than usual!
• Don’t forget to show off your enhanced parking skills with your heightened spatial awareness!

PRE-OVULATION, DAYS 8-14 OF THE CYCLE

What happens?

Where do we start? You’ll probably feel flirtier, better hair days, heightened verbal fluency skills, increased memory, improved mood levels and generally be less aggressive, more creative and have a better sense of smell. The only down-side is that you can be more subject to jealousy than usual.

Why does this happen?

Oestrogen levels increase.

What can I do?

• Impress at important presentations and interviews with your enhance verbal fluency skills
• If you’re single and searching it’s a good time to go on the pull as you’re raring for some action and can seductively flick that great-looking hair
• Beware of the green-eyed monster – instead of scowling at women checking out your man, smile and rejoice in your good taste!

POST-OVULATION, DAYS 15-21 OF THE CYCLE

What happens?

Sensitivity to pain reduces at this stage but unfortunately this comes with the first signs of PMS, classic symptoms being mood swings, irritability and fluid retention.

Why does this happen?

Oestrogen levels decrease as progesterone levels increase.

What can I do?

It’s not all doom and gloom because there are TONS of things you can do to help you feel good!

• Cut down on salty foods and coffee to help combat fluid retention
• In fact, drinking water is great for your well-being in general, so you should try drinking 2 litres a day
• Combat mood swings and irritability by pampering yourself with bubble baths and burn some relaxing aromatherapy oils for total relaxation
• Or call a friend who always makes you giggle!

PRE-MENSTRUAL, DAYS 22-28 OF THE CYCLE

What happens?

In addition to the previous PMS symptoms, you may also experience chocolate cravings, disturbed sleep, increased daytime sleepiness, greasier hair than usual, bad hair days and more spots!

Yikes. On the plus side (there is one!) you may experience a lower sensitivity to pain during this time too.

Why does this happen?

Progesterone continues to dominate on the hormone level as PMS kicks in.

What can I do?

• The buzzword here is water: drink lots of water as it is good for you!
• Continue to cut down on salt and coffee to help combat the effects of fluid retention
• Try washing greasy hair more often than usual
• Avoid bad hair days with some clever styling tricks: cool hats, hair scraped back into the ever trendy pony-tail, hair serum or cute Pippi Longstocking plaits – the choice is yours
• For a better night’s sleep, have a long hot bath just before bed-time to help you relax and reduce stress
• Make sure you snuggle in a sleep-inducing environment – your bedroom should be cool, dark and quiet and your bed should be spacious and comfortable. A good night’s sleep should help combat daytime sleepiness too
• This is the best time to wax your legs because of the lower pain sensitivity!

r/s??

nah just have one random thought.. dunno how long i am going to stay single with the uncertainty i am facing..

maybe at least 4 years more? why? cos it will then be near marriage age then i am force to panic and get one hahaa..

well just let it off once again and drag till time force me to make decision.. too use to it being alone.... more carefree, no unneccessary pain and trouble i need to go through.. but just i willl not get the one very precious and wholesome thing...

ok thats it.. too many love song and some chat making me think of it.. study and be a nerd bah...

locked up zone once again..closed once again..

lol

ha ha .. enough of the silly blog for last entry..

now for real... this week no sch week is helll of a ........

but then towards the weekend, it is hell of a .......

well well well.......... hell man...

lol

studying soon.... study... if only i a could make myself touch my book more... my curiousity will bring me far... being a graduate and not degree holder

ok enough.. why write so much when all is said and done and close friend will not need to read to know anyway..
we'll catch up right? haa... giving myself more chance to meet you people... do meet up yeah.. keke

ciaoz..

??

hip hop, salsa, study, martial arts, sleep,meet up

movie,museum

club????

Lan??

Ktv??

if you know what it all means.. decipher yourself..

inspired by MJ

well it has been weeks since the announcement of our king of pop departure from the world...

why in the first place, such a great singer is not cherished and some wanna criticised him from his error made and only till now, when his gone from the world, then there are people who decides rmb his good and once again bury the hatchet and show their love for him...

why must others lose something then they will realise how unforgettable that person is to them?

i just hope those who do not cherish things will learn how to cherish what they have ...

no doubt his music is good...

no doubt it has been part of our life...

how i wish he had continued releasing album so good that it continues to thrill us to the core..

his music is till now, in the english music industry, the only kind and one that will keep me feel that its nice and unique..

old it may be but good music should not be abandonned becos it is created way back so long it has its unique taste and its nice..

now that his gone.. there is only memories to be kept..

rest in peace... michael jackson...

in life

for life, there are many things that are more important..

yet there are many who do not realised it...

if all the people do realised things like how the philosopher do, there will be no such things as growing up..

thus it is not achievable...

many thing is no big deal after all once you look back..

will you go all out despite the weird timing just to accomplish what you want to do before its too late? or will you rather save the pride and gamble with time to save it for a perfect moment...and what if tmr nv comes?

would you ever pause to wonder why people will do the thing they do and what leads them to react that way?

would you rather be forgiving or penalised them?

no single people is different from each other...yet people perceived themselves differently...

it all goes back to basic and the life they went through after all...

life itself is not complicated... but it is made complicated..

and what we need, is just a little understanding....

SCH STARTED

OMG... disaster..... school have started!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and what disaster have just happened? my hands are going to declare detached soon..

but actually..

seriously speaking..

life in school is pretty routine and boring..

nothing special happen..

except....














actually nothing.. lol



football in class without a ball counted?
people celebrating birthday counted?<--but i not involve
"happily" writing notes down counted?


so in view of all these, i find its rather bored so...
i decide to pop by ulu pandan campus to learn a new dance call bachata.. 2 lesson only anyway..

going soon.. after that i dunno..

maybe.. tmr and the day after might go out alone for fun.. rather bored anyway.. weekend dunno anyone will be available or not.. yawn i nv ask everytime anyway haha..whos free?

alright nth else to write.. just scram off now jy..

till then.. tata

just a question for myself

where do my interest lies?

nothing seems to excite me and let me want to strive for the best of the best unconsciously...so much that i did not realised i am actually working so hard towards..

with an effort that i can feel a limit just isn't the one that can fit into this category..

so what is it???????????


questionmark.....
??????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????


an answer i will need to find out..

maybe its something i dun get to do just as yet....

maybe.....

^^

kids are just so cute..

one moment they throw trantum at each other.. the other moment.. you see them making each other laugh again..

hahah ^^

cute..

i agree

there is something i agree...

bravery comes with the price of losing something..

so long you are not afraid to lose it, you can be brave enough to do it..
but if you are one who cherish things, all the more you will feel afraid to do something....

when one is not afriad of the consequences of do not care about it, he can be really brave... so brave that you asking why he have the guts..

but in the other hand.. once he had experience in losing it and when he learned to cherish it, he will be afraid to lose it and all the more he will be afriad to do things making him a timid..

so those who always won and failed litle can picked up easily and brave on..

but who would have thought those who always lost and won little can easily pick up and be brave once again?

some people just have the right way to do it and have some instinct for it.. some people actually do not really have it and how are they going to make it?

so all the more you need to try tings, make sure you can really harden yourself and ignore the consequences and not afraid to lose it... once you had little hope to cherish it , gone is your bravery...

dead and gone....

nth

i am living in comfty... infiltrate my world please..

hahaha..

i must be crazy haha..

or maybe i shall launch an attack soon again.. since ancient it is always our duty to do the bad thing and see if we are accepted ahahha

no peace... roar...

ok enough of crap.. i'm waiting for chalet on friday..saturday jurong point got jolin tsai coming wow.. 1pm.. feel like rush back and see haha..

there after... training for work and actual work.. 4 days salary only

and.. its waiting for ICT..

i wonder if the pub job can accept or not.. then next time go there work for money.. haa near only anyway..

citibank i guess is goner.. so long alr no news

gv also.. maybe if i want i got schedule now can try again.. sch days go gv work.. grr... revise the schedule and consider reapply see how..

i need money.. i wanna go oversea. hahaha

and i going to buy all the stuff lacking for me to groom and cure whatever i wanted to...

now that i decided to slash some contact off.. i should have more money for myself.. damn spend till i wasted money.. those people merely is not worth it to spend on them i realise..

to think i treat them thinking they are ok... they still backstab behind my back...

and itch again.. wanna write something but then... i guess not... orevious post stir up a bit of crooks in talking again i guess.. lets not get them busy...i write at other blog for my inspiration.. maybe can ask my writer friend to see if he wanna use haha...

ciaoz.. haha

you know i love you..

gossip boy olol

21 may 2009.. i willl rmb this day

what a day..full of surprises and happy day for me..

sent bro's maid off to airport today.. and i activate my..."since i am out why not go out for a while" mindset haaa...
then on the way.. i choose between bugis and orchard...since i went city hall before alr..
and guess what.. i am at orchard..
and suddenly i thought of using the expiring ticket i held...
and wowla... i ended up catchoing night at the museum 2 haha..

wow... night at the museum 2 is nice .... those who watched night at the museum will appreciate and understand better for this.. i made a right choice watching it today.. i feel so glad ^^ no more dragging till everyone is free and watch it on the dot on the day it is released haha.. i'm bored anyway...

its hilarious and adventurious.. nice..
the love part.. is just something i doubt any girls nowadays will do..

the cupid.. is just so nice.. songs ^^ love it..
monkey... now with 2.. is just as witty and cutey as ever haa.. irritating some said..

with the company ard.. i guess they enjoyed the show as much as i do too... i wish they had a good night..smilng with happiness sweetly into the dream and dreamnt of the show haaa... probably the love part.. where it could not really happpen in reality...

and whats next.... interesting... i went to..................

Jurong....................................................

which means...

HOME SWEET HOME...

keke..