:)

i feel happy inside....
for long it seems i had not had time for myself...
actually the slacking is not bad...

i enjoyed my time nevertheless....
maybe its the long break and leaving those need to maintain, look out and watch it stress from those newly found classmate that makes me now feeling what a blissful state i can be in now..

i dunno...just simply so stress free....
i still enjoy my simple life... moneyless but still hehe.. dunno happy thats all..
soon celebrating my mum birthday.... with so many relative coming.. hehe.. hope it be a wonderful time..

sunday is the only time i may need to worry.... cos i be gng out with uni classmates.. generation where every action counts.. bless me... cos there are always people whom i not sure if will have prejudice against me or not...

anyway.... i will be skipping bball for mum today.. family gathering..

mon gonna spend sunday also... sigh... actually, i would love to have low budget outing.... but well mon is bdae celebration so bo bian.. sun, actually is very hesistant as its roller blade.. costly to me for an outing...if dun go, dunno what people will likely say.. sighz... people now say i too sensitive... but then, given the kind of pressure i am in with these kind of people who may misunderstand me anytime, what you expect me to behave.. if things still dun work out as fine, i will reallyy ignore and dun care..... leave the circle totally.... dun say club, not even makan.... if thing s really have its way to made me feeel the striving is pointless apart from what effort i put in .....

of cos i will feel like not giving up, but if things really have to be that way, i got to let it be....

bad remark always has its way to say abt people, no matter who you are....even one kind man good act can be said as got other meaning when its universal known its out of kindness... thats how bad society can be at times ....you will understand in future....

well i cant pin point to any cos it might arise anger among anyone in the world thus, please forgive me if my wording offended any.. i'm sorry..

actually, people might be wondering why i need to be so call overly cautious and sensitive.... i have only one answer.... you have not met people that make you understand how to be more sensitive and careful in your wordings in this society.. when things do not happen to people, they cannot imagine how one phrase of wording from a blog can bring trouble.. might even infringe govt policy who knows.... read more news... understand the world more on how somethings that look absurb to you actually did happened to people...

life... is always so unpredictable... recall how disaster happened to us way before.. who would have thought they will happen? but in the end it did happen...



even lightning strike a tree and collapse killing people those incident also have...
lighting too choon or that person suay? no.. its merely how life is so unpredictable...so people will always see and say "it will not happen to me.." who would have thought the person who got hit by the treee will think it will happen to him or her?
think again... are you really taking things for granted? not to be overly cautious is true but, have you taken the neccessary step to prevent? or at least minimise? when it is possible to do so...

food for thought..
up to individual to think abt it and give an answer to themselves...

my thoughts

i had once thought of aLL these.....

when you cough , slip some cough syrup or at least sweet into your bag or place at your desk.. (found no chance and ate it away)

fold a star from somewhere with your first letter of your name and my name, and put it into your bag.. (in the end i throw it away)

give you encourgement before exam face to face when you are wearing white dress.. (will be quite weird if i stop and cheer you only since diff room thus i walk pass)

and some others...

anyway... think it doesn't matter anymore.... that was all the past...

now... am just going to make frds ard... am not gng to think abt it... maybe.. remaining single till i have made myself way better for people to accept me first in anyway... cant find people who accept me as who i am so i gonna change...

if you were to give me a choice, i rather things to be simple and carefree.... no need care image, want to wear what just wear, want to say what just say so long not offending...happy can alr...

i spent so much alr... just for these... and you know?? i initially wanted to save up for a car in msia so i go back can drive..i heard a ok second hand cheap car need ard $10,000...of cos its now in sing, convert it to ringgit.. i was at $3400 alr... well now its negative.. plus no job..kinda sad.. for the current big small matters, i have to spend.. used it on socialising... but somehow, i feel, i wasted the money... hope something can help me not to regret what i did..with the loads and lousy concentration and speed in picking up schoolwork, i cant work in sch days else main target for grade in sch work sure suffer.. am not working yet did not as good alr..

am trying to pick up reading so when sch starts i can regularly revise schwork as i have the habit now..what to do.. no work so must find things to do... i now plan for myself you see... i have yet to touch malay language.... i read the book "know can do" it says abt focus.. true indeed.. i lacking in it..cant do things well... when i really find my focus, i can really do better..thus, bit by bit, step by step bah....

r/s i guess, sigh, i have no clue what to do abt it.... leaving it aside first..until someone whack me awake and get me do something abt it.. haa think gonna let people ard me worried abt my future alr.. no choice.. no skill, no criteria, no nth........ at least thats what i think of myself.. quite inferior and negative thinking..

alrite.. sat chinese garden nearby jurong east swimming complex with relative at evening for swim, sun east coast i guess for roller blading with shawn and gf,zam and richie.....mon tiong bahru clinque li shi bdae celebration.....only this weekend busy .... 7 dec shanghai rouge.. am gonna to be oldies wear lol shanghai theme i dun have, just gonna wear any cloth nearest to oldies hehe.. can comb back side parking alr haaa.. keke

maybe.. just maybe... go club when frd come back to ZIRCA ... wait he free... and rest of unforeseen outing will depends.. since now FINALLLY my all best frds will be out of exam and free for outing soon....... and whether their assignment for holidays got any to do or what.. just dunno working personnel free or not..

wondering when is poly meeting up

wondering which day of dec is YEP, youth expedition project meeting up... vietnam volunteers and sp people ... hope to see you all soon..

well christmas and new year eve dunno got go club or not.. then sch reopen soon... 3 more sem and we willl be graduated should everything go smoothly...

life in uni is not as exciting as i think it can be..... still i think my bro is happier.. cos, to be exciting, need lotsa close frd in that uni and been meeting up.. i dun think i have any.. kinda bored... i guess no money bah and hae commitment..well who ask me not to have any commitment..in terms of job or whatever...... partly, i no money la.... lol sigh shit la.. lol....

ok bb getting longwinded...

i know i should be working, i know i should be slping.. but no doubt i cant....

maybe should write what i did.....

sat st james, before that ktv.... ktv is rather simple but happy event since i am with my best frd.. marina square again.. our favourite hangout....

then, i wore their shirt to st james.... kept one in pouch... initially wanted to wear others but also kept in bag cos their shirt is nicer ha..

then.. to st james.... i dunno what to say abt it.... i bet there are potential misunderstanding.... first i know others open bottlee... but later on, you see me holding cup does not means i insist on drinking... i bet people must be thinking i fuking wanted to drink so much despite umpteeen reminder that not to as he pai sei its his frd open bottle...

i was actually, offered.. and reason why i hold it for so long would really means i am trying to shake off in a way or another.. but i guess, he also dun like me.. just entertaining... i bet many dun like me .. some might not even turn up due to that....i wouldn't say totally its the reason, but probably partial..

fine experience.. i 'll improve.... in future not really any thing can beat me down easily anymore after this.. but no doubt, i rather things to be smooth lol... i am still lazy at heart to face things and accept changes to normal safe routine....

i bet, my initial motive during start of uni to try out disobeying my own conscious to try things out for unknown result and experience prove to be a pain in the neck... who says you can achieve success when you step out of your comfort zone?? crap... appropriate is also a main component in success... stepping out inappropriately will only make you fall greater than you think you will.... timing is also another crucial factor ...... whoever that do not encalcate all these in equal standing is not as successful and right in their theory in my comment..... please do not speak of the skin for people to easily understand yet nv telll them the way to do it for people who are not as lucky to fall greatly... anything is like share market.... stepping out of comfort zone to invest also need appropriate level of money that can help you endure hardship to certain extend and timing have to be right..... luck is needed too...... and everythig, has its stages to go through before certain things can be done...

thus..... well...... i learnt a lot... not enough for the world.. at least i have yet to figure out the fakeness, the reaction, the backstabber, and the way to do things to tackle it all....

gonna prepare myself... at least mentally for the world... firm is something i always nv do correctly and appropriately when needed...

anyway... went eat at cine on mon... cake and present... so nice....

i bet.... certain frdship once broken will not come back again..... its true what done leaving a blackmark cannot be undone... goodness in the start will accumulate more goodness and black dot in the beginning will only lead to more negative thinking in whatever thing you do regardless of how hard you try....thats partially how a human mind works... thus con man are able to succeed in cheating people when others are cheated by their goodness in the beginning...

thus, i urge all people... really understand you frd to core and not let misunderstanding to bring about breaking of ties in future.... trust is one very crucial thing no matter relationship or frdship...

everything, although different in their own aspects, stick to the big understanding and trust part. impression, plays a great part in your day to day people encounter that determine the stairway to good or bad things in future...

forgive and forget......

however good in understanding, do require practice in reality.. theory can get 100% but without practice, it is useless....

come on... do it..... good luck.... :)

life.....

why do people grow up to find themselves facing lonliness...
imagine the times way back where families are ard.. home is nice.. till primary, whatever thing is nice to play and fun with frds ard playing police and theif or pepsi cola 1 2 3 stepping on each other to win or lose..till secondary, playing basketball, talk, chit chat, hang out, with cca that filled most of the time and playing games..... when all these are done too many times, it get bored. now advancing to poly where orientation and organising activities and hanging out. attention are no longer that concentrated when you dun have a fix class. grouping of friends started to be more obvious.

and soon, as time advances, everyone will be busy for one thing or another. bf, gf work marriage.

each one will be on their own soon and establish families.

from many to little.. is this what life is all about?

things get tougher when frds making gets tougher and tougher.people grow and starts from easily making frds to getting to mind if the person have motive.
people doubting each others. thanks to bad experience. life made difficult.

devil inside grows with influence. things needed to be fulfilled is accumulating and grows in urgency as one ages. eventually, haste came in and play a part in a bad way.

eventually, nth good happens.

living through it all, requires support. ties, and a lot more of things unexplainable.

or probably, appreciation, and knowing that one are remembered and cherish may just do the job.

till now there is no definite answer.

answer, lies in every individual.

search your heart............

i wonder what willl happen on my birthday.. clubbing stuff aside, day time i doubt i can see my best frd nor clinque ard to celebrate my birthday..

doubt there willl be any surprise..

think, it will be a plain just another day thing..

i wonder how many remember my birthday and might want to celebrate if i call for an event to celebrate my birthday..

i am lacking energy to interact and try to maintain relationship with people... it is running out.. who can re-energize it?

sometimes i sincerely want to talk to the person but i am lacking the energy to express my interest externally making people feel i dun want to talk to them..nor quick enough to think of something to crap at the right moment..

genuine frds come to interact at times when i feel lacking of energy.. i feel so bad that i appear unfriendly ... how i wish i got energy level that will not die down and need others to brighten it up at times..

so sick and tired of the things ard me... need to handle so many thing, need to care abt so many things... why can life just be simple...

now.. finding a joob.. earn income....picking myself up from no energy to do stuff.... i have pproblem with myself haha...just simply no mood .....what a long PMS... is it an early geng nian qi? ok alrite crap lame..... nt funny.... no link...... but stilll ..... whatever...

ok enough of writing... these are feeling as of current... will it last or not depends...

18禁不禁 18爱不爱 （插曲） LYRICS

男：第18根蜡烛吹熄以后 确定对你说 爱上你微笑对着我
女：你是心中的第三个愿望 不能说 期待明天变成亲密朋友
男：关于爱的种种
女：才不怕
男：害怕弄巧成拙
女：哈啰 不要想太多 当时机成熟
合：光明正大手牵手
合：爱不爱都想要和你 天天搅和
女：拍大头贴逛渔人码头
男：和梦
合：呵…蠢蠢欲动 爱不爱心思特别多 毫不保留
女：写满了爱的部落格
男：18岁
女：最适合
合：恋爱

翼势力&企鹅-18爱不爱

女：你是心中的第三个愿望 不能说 期待明天变成亲密朋友
男：关于爱的种种
女：猜不透
男：害怕弄巧成拙
女：哈啰 不要想太多 当时机成熟
合：光明正大手牵手
合：爱不爱都想要和你 天天搅和
女：拍大头贴逛渔人码头
男：和梦
合：呵…蠢蠢欲动 爱不爱心思特别多 毫不保留
女：写满了爱的部落格
男：18岁
女：最适合
合：恋爱
翼势力&企鹅-18爱不爱
合：爱不爱都想要和你 天天搅和
女：拍大头贴逛渔人码头
男：和梦
合：呵…蠢蠢欲动 爱不爱心思特别多 毫不保留
女：写满了爱的部落格
男：18岁
女：最适合
合：恋爱

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixlt3ctL7rM&feature=related -- ktv ver

歌曲名 小薰&阿本-甜甜圈
小薰&阿本 - 甜甜圈
专辑:18禁不禁影音全纪录
甜甜圈(片尾曲)
词曲：王雅君
演唱：小薰&阿本
小薰&阿本-甜甜圈(片尾曲)★
danfeng927制作

天天非常想你的甜点
飞过城市的边缘
降落爱你的终点
想念互道晚安的每一天
却又舍不得说再见
你的笑那么甜....
我的直觉就是那么坚决
不怕有暴风圈
因为你是我最晴朗的大晴天
爱要你牵我的手每一天
我要非常用心感觉
因为爱你才是我最后最美丽的句点
喜欢在你的肩膀盘旋
习惯两个人的世界
才让我的心永远像甜甜圈

牵你的手还是有点紧张
看你双眼怎么好好说话
这次真的下定决心
鼓起勇气拥抱你
让我们的爱
连成完美圈圈
曾经怀疑自己是否能保护你
是你让我看见世界美丽
是你带我走向温暖生命
因为有你我的天空放晴
紧握住你的手一起迎接未来
十八岁的蔚蓝环绕永远的爱
却又舍不得说再见(说再见)
是否能够继续
因为你能让我真正充满勇气
有你才可以真正面对自己(呵…)
一起面对未来
十八岁的蔚蓝
两人一起拥抱永远的爱

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-J0c1AxL6g ---- ktv version